


Not Throwing Away My (One-)Shot

by littlejeanniebean



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 61
Words: 32,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlejeanniebean/pseuds/littlejeanniebean
Summary: Comment a request or ask me on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean :)
Relationships: Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Luna Lovegood/Fred Weasley, Queenie Goldstein & Tina Goldstein & Jacob Kowalski & Newt Scamander, Queenie Goldstein/Jacob Kowalski, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander
Comments: 186
Kudos: 137





	1. Alright, Potter?

“Alright, Potter?” 

“Always am when you’re around, Evans,” he winked and reclined beside her.

Lily’s cheeks quickly matched her hair and she thought quickly, “Oi, you’ve got to stop that.”

“Stop what? Being so effortlessly charming?”

She snorted.

He sobered, “You’re my girlfriend. I’m supposed to be nice to you.”

“Yes, exactly. And turning me in to dumb potato every time you open your mouth is not nice.”

“Well, what would you have me do?” he looked at her so earnestly through those goddamn glasses, she couldn’t speak and that just made her more upset with herself and him, but mostly herself because those goddamn eyes were like honey for the soul.

“Embarrass yourself. Just for me. Please. Just… show me that I’m… not the only ridiculous one in this relationship.”

“Fine, let me think… Ooh! I got one…” the more James thought about it the less he wanted to go through with it so he quickly shook his head and said, “Wait, no, let me think of a better one -”

“No, no, no take-backs. Tell me!” 

“Can I, erm… ask you something?” James ran a hand through his already wild black hair, truly nervous and mad at his brain for not coming up with a better alternative, “What’s… what’s a, um, erm… because I heard Padfoot and Moony talking about it -”

“Never a good sign,” the witch quipped.

James let out a nervous chuckle, “Heh, yeah, so, um… a… a blow dryer wouldn’t happen to be…” Lily finally looks up and that makes him more nervous, “You  _ know _ …” he waves his hands around unhelpfully.

“No, I’m afraid I don’t,” the redhead leaned forward to rest her chin in her cupped hands.

He knew for sure he was a goner and she was going to make him say it.  _ Damn _ her and  _ damn _ her smirk and  _ damn _ his teenage hormones and  _ damn _ his stupid curiosity! “Some kind of… you  _ know _ …” he made a rude motion with his hands that had Lily widening her eyes in understanding, which the poor wizard interpreted as revolting shock at his behaviour.

“Forpleasurethings - I’m  _ sorry _ ! I’m sorry I asked! They were just talking about it like it was so interesting and I just -”

Lily burst out laughing until tears were streaming down her cheeks. Oh, this was one for  _ all the ages _ ! She was going to laugh at this until the day she  _ died _ ! She was going to tell Dorcas and Mary and Marlene and make sure  _ the entire school _ knew!

“ _ Whaaaaat _ ?” James drew out a whine, knowing he wasn’t in any trouble, although his pride may or may not take a hit if he played his cards right.

“A - a - a - ah!” she couldn’t get the words out without doubling over in laughter, “A blow - a blo - blow dryer - is most certainly  _ not _ that!” 

James exhaled, “Brilliant. Thanks for clearing that up. Er… what exactly is it then?”

“I’ll show you if you come and visit me some time in Muggle London.”

“Deal.”


	2. It's Alright, Potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Alright, Potter?

“Wait, he actually thought it was -” 

“I  _ know _ !”

“And then he actually -” the boy mimed the rude gesture. 

“He  _ did _ !”

“And you told -”

“I  _ did _ !”

“I mean, even with my crazy-ass family, I know what a blow dryer is,” Sirius low-whistled. 

“How  _ do _ you know what a blow dryer is?” Lily raised an eyebrow.

“Marlene.”

“Ah.”

“And there’s the dirty-minded scoundrel now!” the long-haired boy hollered.

James walked right past them like he didn’t know them.

“Aw, it’s alright, Potter,” Lily grabbed his hand, “no need to be like that.”

“Tell that to your new friend over there,” the bespectacled boy glowered at Sirius.

“Right, let’s go over to the beauty section,” the witch guided them through the brightly lit aisles.

“Wait, whoa,” James jumped back suddenly, shielding both Lily and Sirius with his arms.

Several black and gray devices lined the shelves and they looked like those Muggle killing sticks he’d heard about. 

“Potter, there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Lily barely suppressed a giggle as she picked one up, much to her boyfriend’s horror, “ _ This _ is a blowdryer,” she pointed it at him.

“No, Evans, don’t -”

She turned it on with a flip of the switch and warm air rushed to his face.

“ _ Ooooh _ ,” his eyes widened in realization.

“Well, I suppose you could use it for ‘pleasure purposes’ seeing as it’s got a nice vibrate,” Sirius stroked it seductively.

James walloped him in the head while Lily chortled.


	3. My Dearest Padfoot

Sirius cracked one eye open. The sun was out. That was rather unfortunate. He let his one open eye fall shut. 

Wait a minute. He opened both eyes and looked to the left and right of the empty bedroom, most notably, the empty space beside him on the bed. 

He didn’t need to transform into his animagus to smell the steak cooking downstairs. Remus only ever cooked steaks for brekkie if he was feeling rather poorly. Sirius frowned at the clock on his partner’s nightstand. It was a whole seventy-two hours before the next full moon. Rather early, wasn’t it?

With much more energy that he would normally have in the morning, Sirius threw off the covers and raided his private chocolate collection, knowing that while Remus stockpiled for that time of the month, he always ended up finishing it up before then, especially since the worrying news of the prophecy. 

Armed with a box of Ferrero Rochers and seven bars of Lindts, he paraded down the stairs of Remus’ apartment. Passing by the living room, he charmed a speaker into developing a mouth to sing one of Celestia Warbeck’s slower and more soothing tunes. 

“You don’t have to do that,” said Remus monotonously, “There’s a button on the -”

“Good morning to you too, my dearest Padfoot. Oh my goodness, are those chocolates for me, my loving boyfriend? I love you so, so, so, so, so, so -”

“Thank you,” the werewolf murmured, not quite meeting his eyes and selecting one of the seven Lindt bars and beginning to munch.

Sirius knew he didn’t like his steaks too well done and leaned over to turn off the stove. In the process, he ended up practically tucking his tangled bed head under Remus’ chin as though he were his animagus, providing him comfort during a full moon night already. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and continued to nuzzle him affectionately until he felt the muscles loosen and the stress of worry and anticipation faded.


	4. My Lovely Moony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to My Dearest Padfoot

Remus cracked one eye open. The sun was out. That was rather unfortunate. He let his one open eye fall shut. 

Wait a minute. He opened both eyes and looked to the left and right of the empty bedroom, most notably, the empty space beside him on the bed. He could smell the steak cooking downstairs and one of the Weird Sisters’ least popular tracks blaring from the speakers. He rolled over to see his clock. It was six in the bloody morning.

Then he noticed a single gold Ferrero Rocher on top of the darkest Lindt bar he’d ever seen. Sirius was never one for notes, so there was only a ripped piece of parchment with a paw print on it besides.

Remus felt very guilty, as he often did after a full moon, when things like instincts and a feral need to eat and eat no longer consumed him. His boyfriend was always so caring and thoughtful. The werewolf popped the golden candy into his mouth and savored the crunch. He’d gotten very good at eating his feelings. Like now, he was tired and sore, but at least he wasn’t bleeding as he sometimes was. Maybe they’d had good cloud cover, it being late September. 

Sirius poked his head in with a stealthiness that would put any auror to shame, but upon seeing that Remus was fully awake, he proceeded to bustle in and proclaim loudly, “Good morning, my lovely Moony! I made your favorite brekkie!”

Several bars of dark Lindt chocolate and Ferrero Rocher boxes paraded in after him and proceeded to dance in a circle around them. If Remus had to guess, it was the hokey-pokey, but it was hard to tell because they had neither hands or feet to put in, put out, and shake about. 

Even with the tray set down in front him, he just kept looking at Sirius, perched at the end of the bed as if he were his animagus form, waiting to be thrown a bone. 

“I’m sorry, Pads… for how I’ve been -”

“Pshaw! That’s not your fault. You’re  _ literally _ not yourself -”

“I wish I could be… I wish I could be myself for you all the time…”

“Would you say doting and cooking is me being very much myself?”

Remus snorted.

“Yeah, sometimes it’s good to step outside and smell the roses a bit,” Sirius plucked the single rose from the little vase on the tray and waved it in his boyfriend’s face with every syllable he spoke hence, “Sometimes it’s more 80-20 than 50-50 and that’s okay because we always pick up the slack after, hmm?” 

“Mm,” the werewolf tucked into his steak, downed the entire glass of orange juice, and said, “Although perhaps you could… lay off the cooking for a bit?”

“Is it that bad?” Sirius popped a piece into his mouth and it tasted like he’d tried to stuff a taco with rancid mayonnaise and beef jerky, “Ugh! Right, let’s just go to that Muggle grill in town.”

“Pads,” he held his hand for a minute, his lips curving up into a smirk, “I love you so, so, so, so -”

Sirius cut him off with a kiss.


	5. Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A western AU in which Deputies Potter and Black stop for a drink at Lily Evans' saloon while Doc Lupin patches up the wanted man, Pettigrew, for the bounty.

“Whiskey,” the bespectacled man rumbled. 

“Comin’ right up,” the red-headed lady at the bar in a bodice up to her neck and a massive green hoop skirt poured him a shot.

“Much obliged, Miss,” he raised his glass before downing it.

A long-haired man burst into the saloon and looked around before his eyes settled on the bespectacled man and the red-headed lady.

“Friend of yours?” she muttered.

“Partner,” said the man, simply.

“Well, that’s mighty unusual,” the partner drawled.

“A lady owning her own saloon or that lady refusing you service for spite?” she took the whiskey bottle off the counter for good measure.

“I  _ was _ gunna say that you don’t have a pee-a-noe in the corner or something. Set the mood!”

She couldn’t decide whether or not he was making fun of her, so she just rolled her eyes and asked, “What’ll it be?”

“Whatever James here just got,” he jabbed a dirty thumb at his friend.

She poured him a whiskey.

“Miss, we’re looking for this man,” James laid a wanted poster on the counter of a chubby fellow with a mouse-like appearance, “Have you ever seen ‘im or know who might’ve?”

“Oh, yeah, Doc Lupin saw to his gunshot wound. Keeping him down on morphine. He already sent a wire to the marshalls. That bounty’s his, so you best be on your way.”

“Oh!” the partner fished a badge out from under his dusty poncho.

“That’s us,” said the bespectacled man, flashing his badge as well.

“Right, I’ll take you to ‘im then,” the woman yelled for someone named Mary to take over.

That someone named Mary had on a deep blue dress with a much lower swoop and winked at the marshalls on their way out. The long-haired man walked backwards so he wouldn’t have to stop looking at her on the way out. 

“Deputies Potter and Black,” James wiped his glasses quickly before slapping them back on his face.

“Lily Evans,” she let herself into the doctor’s office, “Doc! It’s the marshalls!”

There was a great clatter in the back and Deputy Potter signalled for Black to move forward and Lily to stand still. 

“Freeze, Pettigrew!” came Black’s voice from behind the curtain before Potter joined him. 

“You alright, Doc?” came Potter’s voice.

For Lily was like watching a shadow puppet show. One deputy helped the doctor to his feet while the other tied up their wanted man. 

“We’ll send for your money to be wired to the bank in Chicago. From there you can arrange for it to be delivered to you whenever you like.”

“Thank you,” Doc Lupin shook their hands.

Suddenly, Pettigrew freed himself of his rope and burst through the curtain. But he didn’t see Lily standing there with one of the doctor’s metal trays. A resounding  _ clang _ echoed as it made contact with his head.

“Thanks,” said Deputy Black, deciding to put a noose on their quarry this time and held fast to the other end.

“So does this mean I get half the bounty now?” Lily elbowed Doc Lupin with a sideways smirk.

“A fourth?” he spat in his hand, so did she, and they shook on it.

Deputy Potter watched the exchange with amusement, even as he followed his partner and prisoner out. 


	6. It's Our Bloody Wedding

“Left, together, back, together, right -  _ that’s my foot _ !”

“I  _ know _ ! I’m  _ sorry _ !”

“Let’s try again,” Lily raised his hand from where it had fallen to her waist and counted under her breath for them. 

“Why can’t we dance any way we want to?” James huffed, “It’s  _ our _ bloody wedding.”

“Oh, don’t you know, Potter? This show isn’t for us. It’s for our parents and future in-laws. At least this is easy,” the witch herself had only learned to ballroom dance just three days ago.

“Heh. Soon I’ll be calling you Potter instead of Evans.”

“What makes you think I’m changing my name?” she challenged.

“Algernon brought me a parchment that had ‘Lily Potter’ written all over it,” James smirked proudly at his cat’s accomplishments, then quickly sobered his face at her enraged look, “I didn’t  _ tell _ him to do it! I  _ swear _ !”

Lily just hummed. She was going to get him back later when he least expected it. 

For a while the couple swished and swayed in the Potters’ foyer, occasionally stuttering to a stop, or having to readjust their arms, but both parties’ toes were spared from further injury for the time being. 

“Can I try a spin?” her fiance asked.

“Sure,” Lily raised the hand that held onto his and they both ducked under at the same time, knocking heads. 

“Ow,” he said belatedly.

“Ow, indeed,” she fixed him with a funny look, “You meant  _ you _ wanted to try a spin.”

“That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” he looked at her puzzled.

“Muggle dancing,” Lily waved him off, “The girl spins.” 

“Oh!” James quickly raised their joined hands once more and gestured grandly for her to move under them. 

His fiancee only smiled and said, “After you.”

James ducked and spun, tripped over his own feet, but somehow made it look like he had settled into a slow recline in Lily’s arms. 

“I guess you could say,” he fixed his glasses to see her properly, “I fell for you again, eh, Evans?”

“I  _ will _ drop you.”

“And ruin the face you’d have to look at the rest of your life?”

“I’ll call off the wedding.”

“We’d elope.”

“If we elope we won’t have to learn this stupid dance,” Lily pulled him upright with a surprising amount of strength.

“Let’s do it!” James grinned widely, still holding her hand. 

Euphemia Potter cleared her throat from the landing at the top of the stairs. 

Her son quickly took his giggling bride-to-be back into his arms, “And left, together, forward, together, right…”


	7. Old and Suspicious

_ She likes me back! She. Likes. Me. Back. Asdlfkjsdlkjfsd!!!  _

It was this concerning missive delivered by owl that Euphemia Potter awoke to. Her son, James, had been pining for this girl. A nice girl, from what she could gather - top of their class, Gryffindor with her heart in the right place - but she’d never paid him any mind before. Now, with war on the horizon and this girl's position as a Muggleborn threatened… the matriarch felt bad for making assumptions about a person she’d never even met, but her timing was rather coincidental. And her son, her sharp, sarcastic, fun-loving son was never going to see any ulterior motive because he’d been in love with her since third year. 

So she wrote back,  _ I hope you invite her to tea over the summer holidays. We’d love to meet her. _

Lily Evans could not get enough of wizarding tea. She was almost certain they didn’t even have different flavours like Muggles, they just charmed it to taste like whatever the drinker wanted at the moment. She told Euphemia as much with more enthusiasm than she’d complimented anything else in their stately manor. That was the first point in her favour. 

Then came James’ proposal, which he hadn’t even confided in his own mother about - she would berate him later, but for now, it told her another important thing about the sixteen-year-old red-head - she was an independent, self-sufficient witch.

“I’m not leaving school to marry you, Potter.”

“You can’t go back, Evans! Not now with -”

“Oh, yes, I can. You’re going back, why is it any different for you?” 

“You  _ know _ why. Look, I’ve just got you, I’m… I’m not going to lose you -”

“And you won’t. I can take care of myself. Let’s not forget whom the better dueller among us is, hmm?”

“Right. Okay. But… after school?”

“If you still feel up to it, you know where to find me.”

That was the second point in her favour. 

Euphemia took them both to Diagon Alley as soon as they got their letters. They were in Flourish and Blotts when it happened, herself and Lily. James had gone with Sirius to Quality Quidditch. Euphemia counted five - six - seven fighters in dark cloaks and silver masks, tearing up the street. 

“ _ Piertotum Locomotor! _ ” Lily cast upon the bookshelves and the books flying out like Muggle jets and the shelves themselves rolling out the door like tankers. “Stay here. I’m going around back.”

“Where  _ to _ ?” the older woman demanded.

“To find James. Quality Quidditch is having a sale on. They’ll be heading there if they want the greatest casualties.”

“I’m coming with you.”

Lily shook her head, “Keep sending out distractions, but please don’t come out yourself. James would never forgive me if anything happened to you. Nor would I.” Then she was gone.

Ministry Aurors finally arrived on the scene after what felt like ages. Euphemia ran out onto the street, silken robes billowing behind her. 

“ _ James _ !” came a strangled cry and the poor mother felt her heart stutter.

She caught sight of the couple in the frantic crowd. Their faces buried in each other’s necks.

Lily held him tighter, “I tried to get to you -”

“You shouldn’t have -”

“I  _ had  _ to.” That was the third point in her favour. 

“You’re bleeding.”

“Not a direct hit,” she checked him over for injuries as well, “They didn’t even see me. It was just a parried spell that hit a brick and -”

He kissed her deeply.

Lily broke the kiss to say, “Your mother is at Flourish’s -”

“She’s here, she’s here, carry on,” said Euphemia, ardently hoping that they would indeed carry on. Past this war. Past anything else life would throw at them. Until they were as old and suspicious as she was. Until the very end. 


	8. Pure Foolishness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James loses and/or breaks his glasses while duelling

“Mulciber, your big-headed bigotry must be banished betimes!” James Potter, with his jet black hair forever akimbo, advanced on the taller Slytherin, wand waving ahead carelessly.

“Prissy Potter without his pitiful possy?” the boy drawled, making a show of searching high and low along the shore of the Black Lake for the usual suspects, “Ooh, I’m positively petrified!”

“So, shall we have a civilized conversation that begins with you providing a sincerely contrite apology to Lily Evans or will I have to hex you into the next Hogsmeade weekend?” he twirled his wand deftly until its point just barely brushed against the tip of the Slytherin’s nose.

“I’d watch where you point that,” Lucius Malfoy emerged from the shadows, his wand raised at James’ head.

“True, true,” the Gryffindor flipped his wand, “It’s so easy to get confused innit? Odds are I’m not even holding the right end, no? Of course, knowing how short sighted you are, Malfoy, your odds are worse. Did you really think I’d come out here by myself if I didn’t have another play at hand?”

The blond’s quicksilver eyes flitted uneasily to Mulciber, who rolled his eyes, “You’re wasting your potential, Potter, fraternizing with that mudblood filth -”

James pressed his wand under the boy’s chin so hard it was sure to leave a bruise.

At the same time, Malfoy dug the right end of his wand into James’ neck, “Please give me the slightest excuse to carve a collar around your neck like the  _ dog _ you are - oh wait, that’s another one of your so-called friends -

“ _ Confringo _ !” James blasted Malfoy into the lake, but not before the boy yelled, “ _ Sectumsempra _ !”

James dodged the worst of the spell and his left ear remained attached by a thread of flesh. 

His glasses hung lopsided on his face. He could only barely see Mulciber’s form ahead of him and he could only assume that he would draw his wand, so he cast, “ _ Expelliarmus _ !” 

Mulciber wasn’t discouraged and dove bodily for James’ wand arm, detaching his ear completely.

The boys fought and pulled until James yelled, “ _ Reducto _ !” and Mulciber, too, wound up in the lake. 

Before James could stand, he was disarmed by a grating, high-pitched voice and his glasses were carelessly tossed aside by cold hands. 

“Hmm… what to do, what to do. With. You,” she sang, “Ooh, I know!  _ Crucio _ !”

A shock of searing heat coursed through his body and he spasmed on the ground, just barely registering the sharp crunch of his glasses on the grass.

“Crucio!” she giggled again, “Cru-”

“ _ Expelliarmus _ !  _ Stupefy _ !  _ Incarcerous _ !” a Scottish voice vicious with anger spat, “All points removed from Slytherin for using an Unforgivable Curse on a fellow student!”

“Glad you got my owl,” James mumbled weakly.

“This was pure foolishness of you, Potter -”

“We had to know for sure, didn’t we?” he gasped in pain as his professor helped him up, summoning his wand and ear in the process, “The aurors need due cause to launch an investigation against You-Know-Who, now we have more than silly tattoos.”

“Pure foolishness…” she muttered still, repairing his glasses, but if James had been wearing them, he would have seen the look of unmistakable pride on McGonagall’s face. 


	9. YOUR VOICE IS LIKE A TRUMPET IN MY EAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jily banter-style texting fic in Band AU verse (Up to No Good / Mischief Managed)

Lily: So…

James: i didn’t do it.

Lily: ???

James: sorry, reflex. i was texting mum before this. what i meant to say is, what’s up?

Lily: YOU DON’T EVEN SMELL THAT GREAT

James: oh fuck

Lily: YOU’RE NOT THAT FUNNY ANYWAY

James: pls stop

Lily: IF YOU DON’T LIKE ME AT MY *TRUMPETS* THEN YOU DON’T DESERVE ME AT MY *BETTER TRUMPETS* AND I’M HAPPY TO BE RID OF YOU *THE ENTIRE FREAKING BRASS SECTION*

_ Lily is typing... _

James: pls no more. i’ll do anything.

Lily: Anything, you say?

James: well not *anything*

_ Lily is typing… _

James: anything!!!1! i’ll do anything!!!1!1!

Lily: Brilliant! Release this masterpiece of a revenge break up song on your next album.

James: i wrote that in primary school!

Lily: I know.

James: we only dated for three days before she broke up with me!

Lily: I know.

James: i don’t want her to think i’m still hung up on her!!1!! i have a girlfriend!!1!!1

Lily: I know.

James: so?????

_ Lily is typing… _

James: the band will outvote me.

_ Lily has added Sirius, Remus, and Kingsley to the chat. _

Lily: All in favour of putting YOUR VOICE IS LIKE A TRUMPET IN MY EAR on the next album say aye.

James: nay!!!!

Sirius: aye

Remus: aye

Kingsley: I don’t know what that is, but James is embarrassed so, aye.

_ James has left the chat. _

Lily: Brilliant!


	10. 10 Things I Hate About You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James write each other "10 things I hate about you" letters for Valentine's day because great couples think alike

Deer James,

I hate the way you swagger up.

I hate the way you pun around like it’s your job.

I hate the way you wronski feint.

I hate how you can tell when I have had a sob.

I hate your stubborn hair

and the way you flirt with sincerity.

I hate you so much it makes me sick

enough to write you poetry.

I hate the way you’re always jumping in heart first;

I hate it when nothing calms you down.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you let me down.

I hate it when you don’t floo

and when you don’t sit by me in the hall.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

Not even close,

not even a little bit, 

not even at all.

Love,

Lily🌸

Deerest Lily,

I hate the way you walk to me

like you don’t know what you’re doing.

I hate the way you drive your metal muggle death trap -

it will be my undoing.

I hate your big doe eyes

and the way they read my mind.

Not literally, because neither of us

Know occlumency... right?

I hate it when you tell me how bad some people make you feel.

I hate it more when you lie and say you’re fine.

I hate it when I can’t make you laugh,

even worse when I make you cry.

I hate it when you don’t write

and when I don’t see you until the fall.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

Not even close,

not even a little bit, 

not even at all.

All my love,

James

P.S. I’m sorry it got kind of solemn at the end. I was trying to keep it light, but then I thought I went overboard, so I wanted to dial it back, but then… yeah.

P.P.S. I love you.


	11. Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm done. We're done." (Wolfstar angst.)

“Black,” Remus flung the door open wide, but his frame completely blocked the way in. Despite losing a lot of weight since the war began, he could still do that.

Sirius wheezed out a chuckle despite his dishevelled, possibly injured state, “Come on, Moons… you don’t… you don’t believe -”

“I never believed a lot of things before,” the werewolf murmured lowly, “We were all  _ ready _ to welcome Regulus -”

“He’s  _ not _ working for them. He’s gone  _ missing _ -”

“Oh, and you would know that, being the real  _ traitor _ -”

“ _ No _ !” Sirius yelled desperately, not even daring to check the street behind him in case anyone heard. He didn’t -  _ couldn’t _ \- care about that now, “It was Pete-”

“ _ Pete _ , He says!” Remus exalts mirthlessly, “Pete couldn’t hurt a fly and you  _ know _ it -”

“He’s not the little boy we used to know -”

“He was blasted clean to  _ smithers _ ! All they had left was -”

“He cut it off  _ himself _ !”

“I’m sorry, are we talking about the same bloke who  _ fainted _ in the field the moment a severing charm grazed him?” the scarred man shook his head and made to close the door, “You never were good at lying, Black.”

“It’s Padfoot! It’s  _ Padfoot _ !” Sirius clung to the door frame, “A marauder until the very  _ end _ !”

“No,” he could have been talking to an actual dog by the way he spoke and the way the broken boy on the outside of the door responded immediately by backing down, “I’m done.  _ We’re _ done.”


	12. The Sun Also Rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i asked if you were having a party. i didn’t tell you to have a party.” (Jily fluff)

Lily came home to a full flat when all she wanted was to recline with a red wine and read. She stomped into the kitchen to find that - yup, said red wine was gone.

“Heyyyy,” Mary sidled up to her, handing her a bubbly.

The redhead growled, but accepted the drink, “I asked if you were  _ having _ a party. I didn’t tell you  _ to _ have a party.”

“Yeah, but your asking put the thought into my head and it wouldn’t shake,” her friend smiled her cutest in an effort to win her favour, but she would need more convincing than that. “Besides, a certain dark-haired, bespectacled football player promised to make an appearance,” aaaand Lily was sold. 

“Oh, he  _ promised _ , did he?” not that she would ever let on, of course.

“Welllll, not exactly,” Mary shifted her weight from one stiletto to another, “His friend is coming and promised he’d bring him along.”

Lily chugged the rest of her bubbly down. Pleasebethesweaterfriendandnottheleatherjacketfriend. Pleasebethesweaterfriendandnottheleatherjacketfriend. 

The leather jacket friend practically burst through the front door with a case of beer in tow and no sign of his hot, bronze-skinned friend. 

“I’m giving up on the night,” said the girl, handing her glass back to Mary, “Wake me when the sun rises anew. Or don’t. I don’t even care.”

“I would,” came a voice from behind the newly opened fridge door and a shaggy mop of jet black hair appeared when it finally shut, “What would be the point of the sun rising if it had no flowers to shine on?”

“You…” Lily didn’t even notice Mary slyly backing away as she tried to find something nice and cool to say in return, “... That’s the shoddiest pickup line I ever heard.” Inside her head, a voice screamed,  _ Toocooltoocooltoocool! Abortabortabort!  _

He shrugged carelessly, “Can’t really blame a bloke, can you? Even his best shot is bound to fall short the minute he sets eyes on your beauty.”

Lily frowned. She didn’t like being played with and was hoping he was as nice as he looked. 

“Too much?” the man grinned apologetically, “I’m James, by the way. Just playing wingman for my leather jacketed friend over there. Insisted it would be  _ uncool _ for him to say yes to an invite if he wasn’t doing me a social favour, getting me out of our flat for the weekend.”

“Oh? So you don’t intend for this to go anywhere?” she eyed him critically.

“Intention sounds rather presumptuous. I prefer to let the lady lead.”

  
Aaaand she was back on  _ that _ train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clearly, i have not actually read The Sun Also Rises...


	13. Jamesie! Jimsie! Jamsie!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kingsley helps Lily plot a prank or something against the other Marauders in revenge for something (Up to No Good / Mischief Managed band au verse)

“Jamesie! Jimsie! Jamsie!” Lily rushed to the door to welcome him back from the tour.

“Hey, you!” he scooped her up by the cheeks for a kiss, noticed the Bluetooth in her ear and pouted, “You’re working?”

“Would you prefer it if I was a good little house-girlfriend and didn’t?” she crossed her arms and raised a pointedly styled ginger eyebrow.

“Nononono - not what I meant! I just missed you,” the boy ran a hand through his already spiky hair shyly, “I love you, you know?”

“Well,” Lily bit her lip, “would you still love me if I told you I did something awful?”

“If you _told_ me you did something awful or if you _actually_ did something awful?”

“ _James_ !” she recoiled in shock, “I think the fact that you need to clarify that statement is pretty telling, _no_?”

“I mean, if you’re going to tell me you murdered an innocent creature like a cat, then I think that says more about you than it does me, _no_?” he mimicked her tone.

Lily did not smile. Not a crack.

“Lily?” his eyes darted nervously to and fro behind his glasses.

She bit her lip.

“ _Lily_?” he asked more urgently.

“Uuuuuuuuuhhhhh…” she drew it out and the guilty look in her eyes could have made him pull his hair out in frustration if, you know, it wasn’t his main meal ticket.

“ _Algernon_ !” James cried out in panic, but the cat didn’t come, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he hyperventilated as he tore through the large house and checked all the usual places, “He’s a _cat_ , sometimes he won’t come just to give his poor, old father a heart attack - _Algernon_!”

In Euphemia’s office upstairs, Kingsley sat like a king with Algernon in his lap. Neither of them so much as started when James Potter burst in with a mildly concerned, mostly dying-from-holding-in-her-laughter Lily at his heels.

“ _You_ !” he shoved a finger in the drummer’s face before whipping around to his so-called girlfriend, “And _you_!”

“That’s what you get for tossing my Nikes haphazard all over the floor of my hotel room in Belize,” his band mate sniffed derisively.

“They’re _Nikes_!” James scooped Algernon into his arms and cuddled him softly, more for his own comfort than the cat’s.

“Honestly, I’m surprised how little it took to rile you up,” Kingsley rose to leave, “I barely had to say a thing.”

“You…” the singer’s eyes landed on the blinking Bluetooth in Lily’s ear, “you were telling her what to say the whole _time_?”

“Jamesie! Jimsie! Jamsie!” Lily squealed and made a gagging sound, “As if I’d ever say _that_ for real!” then she sidled up to her boyfriend, “I’m sorry if I stressed you that bad… You still love me, though, don’t you?”

James let out of huff that sounded suspiciously like a “yes.”


	14. If You've Got Enough Nerve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "you owe me a kiss" (Hinny Quidditch fluff)

The magically large stadium was alive with excited chatter, scattered exclamations, and yes, the occasional tangle of green and blue robes as witches and wizards feel the need to defend their respective teams. 

A clear whisper resounded, “Are you ready?”

The crowd grew impossibly louder and all eyes riveted to the commentator’s stand where Lee Jordan, the anchor of Potterwatch fame, stood tall, wand to his throat with a sonorous charm in full effect. 

“I said are you  _ ready _ ?” he screamed with the fans and they cheered back, “This isn’t just any game, you know! You’ve been waiting four years for this!”

The announcer held his hand up for silence and spoke with an earthy rumble, rising steadily, “This is the game that makes history. This is the best in the league against the uprising underdogs. This is Puddlemere United versus the Holyhead Harpies. This is…  _ The Quidditch World Cup _ !”

It was Ginny’s first in the league, although you wouldn’t know it to look at her lacing her boots and slapping her gloves on. The thing about growing up with six older brothers was that she learned quickly to never show weakness or hesitation. 

“They’re the true blue golden boys and girls!” Lee hyped the crowd up as  _ Beat those Bluders Back, Boys, and Chuck that Quaffle Here _ played, “Hogwarts’ own Oliver Wood carries the captain’s torch for the first time this year - shall we see what they got? It’s  _ Puddlemeeeeeere United _ !”

They zoomed onto the pitch in a flurry, high-fiving ecstatic fans in the stands. 

“They’ve got the sharpest talons in the league, believe me, you don’t wanna mess with these ladies -”

Swallowing every last one of her nerves, Ginny mounted her broom and kicked herself into a controlled hover. 

“- and the flaming cherry on top of their fierce lineup is none other than Chaser Ginerva Weasley Potter! Watch out: It’s  _ Holyyyyyyyhead Harpies _ !”

Ginny flew straight for the commentator's stand to give Lee a high-five before diving down to playfully jostle Oliver Wood, who was chatting up  _ her _ husband, reminiscing their old Hogwarts days.

“Oi, my turn,” she sidled up to Harry, “You owe me a kiss for good luck.”

He leaned out and she gripped the collar of his robes with both hands, hooking her legs securely underneath her broom so she didn’t fall. 

“Oooh, check out the celebrity box, witches and warlocks!” Lee grinned widely, “Ginny and Harry sitting on a broom. K-I-S-S- _ oi _ !” a quaffle barely missed his head as Ginny made a warm-up pass to her teammate.

“Oops,” she deadpanned as she glided smugly past on her way back to centre pitch to start the game. Nerves, who?


	15. Bourbon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Chapter 5: Whiskey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small clarification: James drinks Scotch whiskey, Lily drinks Bourbon (as in American) whiskey.

“We’re closed,” Lily didn’t look up from wiping the solid oak counter until it gleamed in the early dawn.

“Jus’ wan’ tuh speak tuh Evans ‘bout a bet I placed last week,” drawled a tall man with a shock of ash blond hair under his ten gallon hat.

“All bets are final. You can collect on the dates posted outside the door, but today ain’t one of ‘em,” she spoke in a clipped tone that would have sent any respectable patron out with a “good day, ma’am, sorry tuh bother yous.”

“I said I wan’ tuh speak tuh  _ Evans _ ,” his spurs swaying as he ambled towards the counter, casting a shadow over her.

Unperturbed, she leaned forward and told him squarely, “Yuh are. Did you have another question about your bets, sir?” 

His cold gray eyes bore into hers as his mouth folded into a sinister snarl, “Naw, Miss… Good day,” in a menacingly deliberate way, he tipped his hat and strolled out.

Lily unbuttoned her fitted vest so she could breathe better and poured herself a bourbon.

“Bit early, ain't it?” Mary came out from the back room, ledger nestled in the crook of her arm like a babe.

“Lucius Malfoy just came in looking to talk to ‘Evans’ about a bet.”

The business lady scoffed, “His fault for having terrible instincts. He’s got to live with it.”

“Yeah,” Lily poured herself another glass.

“Hey, just because he’s rich and a chauvinist don’t mean nothin’. He can’t and won’t touch us. How else is he gon’ win his money back?”

“Yeah.”

That night, while the usual drinking and gambling took place, Deputies Potter and Black came in quietly. 

“Deputies!” Mary greeted them warmly, “Thought you’d left without saying goodbye!”

“Nonsense,” said Black, who cleaned up rather nicely, “we were raised better than that.”

“The usual?” Lily asked of Potter.

“Yes, please,” he drummed the counter lightly, “Heard you had some trouble with the local gentry? Malloy or somethin’?”

“Malfoy,” she slid him a whiskey, “Is this of interest to you professionally, Deputy?

“Need it be?”

“Not yet,” but just as she said it, Lucious Malfoy strode in and the entire saloon fell into a tense hush. 

The “gentleman” if he could be called such, was flanked by a giggly woman with all manner of guns and bullets strapped to her small person and a sourly man with a single silver pistol that stood out at his hip against his entirely black ensemble. 

“Article four section five-point-three of state legislature says,” Malfoy took Potter’s whiskey to wet his lips, “that a woman shall not come into possession of any piece of land unless bequeathed to her by her husband or father after their deaths have been determined to be due to natural causes. Have you ever been wed, Miss Evans?”

Lily couldn’t shake the feeling that she knew the man beside him who dressed like the devil’s pastor and then it dawned on her, “ _ Severus _ ?”

The man blinked and looked up at her face for the first time, “ _ Lily _ ?”

She shook her head, “What are you -”

He shook his head, “I had no idea -”

“Well, then walk aw-”

“I need the mon-”

“ _ Answer the question _ , Miss Evans,” Malfoy interrupted with a sharp rap of his knuckles against the counter. 

“This isn’t a court of law and she ain’t on trial,” Mary spoke up for her.

“Well, then, deputies,” he nodded to Potter and Black respectively, “I believe you best turn out this establishment’s patrons and arrest the woman for unlawful possession of this here land until she can prove otherwise -”

“Sir,” Potter drew himself up to his full height, still a few inches short of Malfoy, but would do in a pinch, “your… concern as a… citizen… is certainly admirable. However, the law assumes innocence until guilt is proven. My partner and I will question her and her associate but in the meantime, I think everyone would like to get on with their night, hmm?”

There were murmurs of agreement among those present. 

Malfoy’s lips curled into a dry smirk, “Keep me apprised.”

Then he left, the likely trigger-happy woman and the man named Severus at his heels.

“They’ll be back,” said Lily, pouring the deputies a round on the house.

“You mean you didn’t come to acquire this fine tavern through legitimate means?” Potter raised an eyebrow.

“My father died and left it to my sister, who’s married, so it went to her husband, but he didn’t want it and they moved back east without a word.”

“So the deed is still in his name?”

“Yes,” Lily uncorked the bourbon for herself. 

“That complicates matters.”

She nodded, upending the almost empty bottle into her mouth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series continues in Two Shots of Whiskey! https://archiveofourown.org/works/24114463/chapters/58052440


	16. A Perfectly Civilized Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "yeah, but i'm cooler" (Jily angst)

“Potter.”

“Evans.”

“Can we talk?”

“I thought you were making it a point  _ not _ to talk to me.”

“Please.”

Well, James wasn’t  _ that _ big of a git. He turned to her so she knew she had his full attention.

“I think we should break up.”

The boy blinked, “Okay, that wasn’t how I was hoping this would go.”

“Potter...” Lily massaged her temples, “I just... I like you well enough, alright?”

“ _ Well enough _ ?” he tried not to raise his voice. He really did. 

“I just don’t think we’re right for each other. You’re quidditch obsessed; I couldn’t care less. You can be a right scallywag; I’m a prefect and if I want a shot at Head Girl -”

“You know, a scallywag is a person who behaves badly but in an amusingly mischievous rather than harmful way -”

“I  _ can’t _ , Potter. Alright?”

“No! Not alright!” James jumped up from where he’d been sitting in the mostly empty Gryffindor common room. He began to pace, “I have  _ loved _ you since third year -”

“Yeah, well, you have a funny way of showing it. Picking on my friends -”

“ _ One  _ friend -”

“And my  _ only _ for a  _ really _ long time! You had  _ zero _ respect -”

“I was an idiot, alright? How many times do I have to admit it?”

“Well, none anymore, seeing as we’ve broken up!”

“No, we haven’t. You said we should, but I disagree, so we’re having a perfectly civilized conversation about it where we can eventually come to a mutual understanding!”

Lily set her jaw, “We’re  _ over _ , Potter. I’m going to Hogsmeade weekend with Felix Bardin.”

“Fine,” James shrugged and crossed his arms, “Go, yeah, but I’m cooler.”

She gave him her driest eye-roll, “That’s what you’re going with? Really?”

“You put me into a severely emotionally distressed state! What am I  _ supposed _ to go with?”

“I’m sorry, truly, but it’s not like we had anything more than a few quick snogs in broom cupboards, right?”

“That wasn’t all it was to me,” James sniffed, removing his glasses and wiping them vigorously with the end of his tie.

Lily backed away quickly before she lost her nerve, muttering one last apology.


	17. One More Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to A Perfectly Civilized Conversation

“I’m sorry, I just have one more question,” James leaned in at Lily’s section of the Gryffindor table during breakfast, “then I’ll get out of your hair, which looks really nice in those braids, by the way.”

Lily sighed and turned around, so he knew he had her full attention.

“Was it a change in mind or change in heart? Your decision. I don’t need details if you don’t want to give them. I just... I need an honest answer because I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation and I can’t tell if you were trying to spare my feelings or not.”

“Why do you  _ need _ to know, Potter?” she found herself asking.

“Because... if you’ve just changed your mind, then there’s something I can do - I know I’ve given you no reason to believe I can change, but I  _ can  _ and I  _ have _ and I  _ will _ some more if I still have your heart because... because you still have all of mine, Evans.”

Lily’s friend, Marlene whispered something to Lily’s other friend, Dorcas that sounded suspiciously like, “I told you so.”

“Sod off, Potter,” said the red-head, “I can’t think when you’re looming over like that.”

He backed away a respectable distance.

“Meet me at the usual place. We’ll... have a civilized conversation then,” she promised.

James wanted to kiss her right then and there, but he thought that might be pushing it, so he bit back the smile threatening to split his skull in half - unsuccessfully - and nodded eagerly until Sirius jabbed him in the ribs and Remus said they were running late for their first period. 


	18. Be Kind to One an Otter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prequel to Chapter 16: A Perfectly Civilized Conversation. I'm sorry (read: not sorry) for the pun!

The Great Hall erupted in laughter as James Potter was only partially successful in blocking one of Severus Snape’s original hexes. 

“Aw, you’re so cute,” Lily cooed sarcastically at the human-sized otter now sitting in their midst, glasses askew, unsure what to do with his tail, “Serves you right for putting a sticking charm in his porridge.”

Snape had cast the hex silently, which was why James hadn’t known to expect it and he was furious at his sort-of girlfriend - they hadn’t put a label on it just yet - for taking her former friend’s side. Of course, he could only look so upset as a soft-furred otter with big, baby eyes. 

He padded to the hospital wing on all fours, refusing Lily’s accompaniment by batting her legs away - gently - with his tail. Madame Pomfrey set him right in time for quidditch practice, but he swore he still felt the urge to jump into the Black Lake every time he saw it, but Lily insisted he simply had an attention span the size of a teaspoon. 

The transfiguration hex was all Sirius and Remus could talk about for a week. Instead of one specifically meant for turning James into an otter - they tried it on Snape and a bunch of other unwitting Slytherins but it didn’t work - they wanted to make a common spell that would turn anyone into whatever animal could be related to their name - be it by pun or etymology.

“Oi, lend us a hand, will you, Prongs?” said the one with darker, longer hair between the two, “This is kind of your area of expertise.”

“ _Harumph_ ,” James crossed his arms and slouched further into the chair he was lounging in, but couldn’t resist muttering, “ _Creaturae_ is ‘creation’ not ‘creature’ like you want.”

“That’s the last time I rely on your shoddy translation, Padfoot,” Remus shook his head in disappointment.

“Fine, learn Latin, but don’t come crying to me when you want to bash your skull into your mother’s tea cupboard!”

“That was concerningly specific.”

“Come to apologize?” James barely glanced in Lily’s direction when she came to stand beside him.

“For _what_? Your own stupidity?”

He jumped up, suddenly livid at her cutting tone, “You’re my - my _friend_! And you laughed with the rest of them!”

“So did Sirius and Remus!”

“Yeah, but after sticking Snape’s arse to his seat, so they get a free pass!”

“I’m not going to apologize to a childish bully who can’t take being the butt of the joke for once!” Lily crossed her arms, “In fact, I don’t even want to talk to one!”

“Fine!” James stomped to the stairs.

“Good!” Lily claimed his seat.

“Well!” he stomped up the stairs.

“Brilliant!” she shot back, determined to have the last word, despite just saying she didn’t want to speak to him anymore. 

“ _Bloody fantastic_!” echoed down the tower stairwell.

Lily rolled her eyes and muttered, “What a _child_ ,” she caught Sirius and Remus staring at her, “What are _you two_ looking at?”

“Nothing,” shrugged Remus.

“At all,” Sirius finished before promptly turning an unsuspecting first year into a goldfish - his last name was Goldberg, “ _Ach_! Quick! Get a - a pot or something, Moons!”

Remus conjured up a bowl and cast, “ _Aguamenti_!”

Then they went back to their drafting parchments.

“Aren’t you going to change him back?” asked Lily, fidgeting with her prefect’s badge, looking around the otherwise empty common room as if McGonagall might jump out from behind the heavy curtains and whip it off her uniform.

“We will,” Remus assured her.

“As soon as we develop a counter-curse,” Sirius clarified.

“You’d best apologize to James soon or this could take anywhere from one hour to one week.”

“Oh, yes, that’s a highly recommended course of action.”

  
“ _Ugh_!” Lily stomped up the stairs to boys’ dormitories.


	19. Adorable Spawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 random words challenge! Thanks Solstilla <3
> 
> Jily and Baby Harry: Challenge, Extort, Cafe

“Da,” the baby opened his bright green eyes impossibly wider underneath his mess of jet black bangs, “Da,” he reached again in the direction of James’ plate of gingerbread biscuit. 

“This is extortion!” he declared much too loudly, making everyone in the cafe glare at him. 

“Challenging, isn’t it?” Lily smirked at him, sipping her chamomile tea from across the table.

“How do you expect me to say ‘no,’” he gestured wildly to their adorable spawn, “to  _ that _ ?”

“Now that you understand my pain,” Lily moved the biscuit plate further away as baby Harry had managed to summon it just a mite closer on raw magic alone, “are you going to parent  _ with  _ me or  _ against _ me?”

James took another look at Harry, whose ruddy cheeks were _so_ _irresistibly chubby_ and groaned, slumping back in defeat, “I’m sorry I let him turn the bathtub into a fountain!”

He got some odd looks from the cafe’s patrons at that.

Lily raised a cool eyebrow and continued to sip her tea, casually moving the migrating plate of biscuits away from Harry again.

“Fine, I’m sorry I  _ encouraged _ him to turn the bathtub into a fountain!”

His wife nodded in satisfaction and slid the plate over to him, “Have a biscuit, Potter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment a request below or hmu on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean :)


	20. Skin, Fire, Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random word prompt!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by MagicGirlInAMuggleWorld :)

" _ Agh _ !" the lanky redhead dropped and rolled as the potent dragon fire licked under his flame-proof cloak and singed his freckled skin.

"You're a right  _ dream _ to work with, aren't you, Norberta?" Charlie tutted, getting back up with a short gasp.

Little Norberta just huffed, smoke billowing out of her large nostrils. She was about the size of a bulldog and getting bigger everyday. The head trainers were starting to talk of shipping her out to Bulgaria, where their training was more…  _ intensive _ . The kind of training Charlie didn't believe ever did a dragon any good.

The Norwegian Ridgeback plopped her rear end petulantly down on the compact soil of the training grounds.

“Look,” the boy knelt so he could look into the dragon’s eyes, “I know you miss ‘im, yeah?”

Norberta made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a scoff.

“Oh, I know, alright,” said Charlie, “Hagrid was the first person who understood what it was like to… to not understand people… or… or be understood… all the time… you know?”

The dragon rumbled as if to say,  _ Well, go on, then _ .

“Then I move out here and…” he chuckled, reeling Norberta’s harness in, “turns out… I miss my human family too.”

“ _ Grrr… _ ” the ridgeback resisted.

“I’m trying to help you,” Charlie soothed, “but you need to help yourself too. It’s not about doing what I say, it’s about talking to me, yeah? If I say go left,” he hopped in that direction, just a hair way from a deep pit - the timeout pit.

“ _ Reee! _ ” Norberta pulled back, taking the boy with her by the reins.

“Exactly!” the trainer praised, tossing the magnificent creature a cube of steak, “A-ah,” he jogged around to hold the dragon back from her treat, “Sniff first,” he got down on all fours and mimed the action, “Is it okay to eat?”

Norberta extended her tongue slowly towards the meat, testing him.

“ _ No _ ,” the redhead stomped his foot firmly, tightening his hold on the harness, “No, Norberta. Sniff. Then eat.”

“ _ Reee! _ ” the dragon leapt upon the steak, using her rapidly developing muscles to pull Charlie with her. 

The redhead stared her down while she licked her lips. “Guess we’ll work on that, yeah?” 

  
“ _ Reee! _ ” Norberta bared her teeth in what looked suspiciously like a smile. 


	21. Bongs, Beanies, Bets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolfstar random word prompt!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @hismoony on Tumblr :)

_ BooooooOoooooOooooong! _

The sound of the gong reverberated through the Muggle thrift shop. A long-haired boy with a delighted grin threatening to split his thin face was holding the fluffy-ended stick.

“Sir,” said the redheaded store attendant, who was not much older than he was, “No playing with the merchandise, please.”

The fluffy-ended stick was shoved just a breath away from his nose, “Make me.”

“Sirius,” said a tall, mousy-brown haired boy with light pink scars trailing up his neck to his otherwise soft cheek, “What do you think of this beanie?”

The one named Sirius gave the question careful consideration, “It looks just like the ten others you tried on, luv, which is to say, bloody gorgeous on you,” then he turned his attention back to the shop attendant, “As I was saying -”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, why would they put a gong in the middle of the store and expect people not to touch it, eh?” he counted five quid out of his wallet and winked, “Just do it quietly, I have a bet to settle.”

He walked - nay, strutted - to the redheaded woman seated behind the checkout counter. 

“What’s got your cauldron bubbling now, Arthur?” she rested her chin in her hand. 

"Well, Molly, I could give you this five quid now,” he said, “or I could put it towards our date tonight.”

“Oh,” she raised an eyebrow, “we have a date tonight?”

“If you want,” the boy attempted a nonchalant shrug. 

Molly kept a perfectly straight face, just for a moment, before she broke out into a warm smile, “Keep your five quid.”

  
_ BoooooOoooooOooooong! _ Sirius giggled like a schoolgirl as he hit it again - not quietly at all.


	22. Aluminum Van Rhetoric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Band AU random word prompt!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by pianistbynight :)

“Aluminum. Aluminium. Aluminum. Aluminium. Alu-”

“ _ Alleluia _ , we’re here!” Remus stumbled out of the cramped tour van, in not much better of a state than his bandmate, “Thanks, mate.”

“You boys need help inside?” asked their driver, Ernie.

“No, thank you, we got -” James was cut off by a hiccup, “we got it!”

“Aluminum. Aluminium…”

“Sirius, we get it!” Remus pleaded, holding his pounding head in his hands as he marched up the stairs at the back entrance of the hotel, “They say it differently here in America!”

“By wha’ rhetoric?” the long-haired guitarist slurred - that is,  _ demanded _ \- to know, “Tha’s no’ ‘ow it’s spelled!”

“ _ Shh _ !” the other two helped him up the last step that seemed to be confusing him. Left or right? Which one was it? It got quite confusing after six tequila shots and a gimlet each. 

Soon they were all very confused about whose foot was whose, whose arm they were holding and who was holding the railing (no one), and tumbled onto the landing and came face to face with a pair of soft red checkered slippers. 

“Hmm… Boys…”

“‘Ello Ruther,” Sirius.”

“Arrrrthurrrr,” Remus.

“Art,” James didn’t even dare try for anything more complicated than a monosyllable. 

Their manager sighed, “Get to bed, you lot. We’ve got to be on the road bright and early tomorrow.”

“ _ Ughhhhh _ ,” they groaned. 

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before -”

“We knowwwww,” Remus dropped his head mournfully.

“It won’t hap-” James stopped and swayed slightly in a hiccupping fit, “happen again,”

Arthur narrowed his eyes at the third boy bander, “ _ Sirius _ ?”

“I…” he put his hand on his heart, but it looked more like he was trying to choke himself, “solen - soylent - solemnity swear!”

The redheaded man shrugged, “Close enough. Goodnight, boys.”

“G’niiiiight!” Remus.

“Goood,” James.

“Guten Natchmittag!” Sirius.

“That’s good afternoon, dumbass,” Kingsley let them into their shared hotel room after James gave up on trying his room key and just knocked, following the beat to Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees.

“No,  _ dumbass _ ,” the guitarist snarked back, “That’s ‘Guten Abend!’”

“No,  _ that’s _ ‘good evening.’”

“English... is a germic -  _ Germanic _ \- language,” Sirius wagged one of his long fingers in Kingsley’s face, “Good and Gluten - Guten - start with ‘G,’ while Nacho-mit-tag - Natchmittag - and -”

“Oh my God, we’re not in Germany!” Remus threw a pillow at him, “ _ Please _ .  _ Leave it _ .  _ Alone _ !”

“Hey!” Sirius threw it back, but missed and knocked James’ glasses off his face instead. 

James, of course, retaliated and joined the fight, but only for a few moments. He got dizzy quickly without his glasses and hurled all over the carpet. 

“I’ll call housekeeping,” said Kingsley gravely in his pink silk pajamas, holding two goose down pillows under his arms. “ _You_ _lot_ ,” he eyed them sternly, “will call it a night.”

“Nigh’!” Sirius played air-guitar, jumping on his bed.

“Niiiiiii,” Remus trailed off into a deep slumber.

“Nnngh,” James curled up in one of the chairs, not daring to move again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can read the band au here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807419/chapters/57199033 :)


	23. The Girlfriend Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random word prompt!
> 
> Summer Camp AU: Blue, Sunset, Earrings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @purple-jules on Tumblr :)

The summer sunset was incomparable as it disappeared beneath the cool blue waters of the lake.

“ _ Aaaaaaiiiiiiighhhnnnnn! _ ” came a terrible scream from one of the cabins on the water.

“Oh my God, should there be that much blood?” Peter backed up suddenly, knocking over the alcohol and spilling the cool liquid all over Sirius, who jolted.

“ _ Aaaaaarrrghhhnnnnn! _ ” James yelled more hoarsely.

“Oh my God, Peter, look what you made me do!” Sirius pressed some ice to James’ ear. 

“I take it back,” the bespectacled boy gasped, “I don’t want earrings anymore. I don’t care if Lily likes Snivellus better because he’s got ‘em. No, I still care, but I have plenty of other good qualities!”

“You’re not greasy,” Peter supplied helpfully.

“You’re athletic,” added Sirius, tossing bloodied cotton balls into a steadily growing pile behind James’ head where he couldn’t see them and freak out even more. 

“You’re an idiot,” said a distinctly female voice.

“I told you he’d do it,” Remus shrugged, gesturing for her to enter the cabin before him. 

“You didn’t have to get earrings to get me to like you, James,” the redhead stood just at the foot of the bed, where he was lying.

“I didn’t?” he asked weakly.

“Nope,” she shooed Sirius away and took over his ministrations, “but since you’ve already gone through all the trouble, I don’t mind saying, you’d look very attractive with a single jeweled earring.”

“You couldn’t get back  _ before  _ I pierced him?” Sirius hissed at Remus.

“She wouldn’t believe he’d really do it otherwise,” came the simple reply.

Peter, meanwhile, had taken up the can of mosquito repellant, the mosquito coils, the UV mosquito killer, and pulled the net down on his fishing hat. “Right, I’m ready,” he ushered them out the door, “Let’s give them some privacy.” 


	24. dO i HaVe cHoCoLaTe??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random word prompt!
> 
> Wolfstar: Record, Dorm, Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @meandminniemcg on Tumblr :)

The record spun lazily, long played out, filling the cozy dorm with soft white noise. 

Sirius hummed the last song’s chorus over and over again, his tongue in his cheek, one pen in his messy bun, two in his large hand to annotate his annotations. 

“I can’t take it anymore!” Remus barged in suddenly. He looked comfortable, as always, in his oversized sweaters, ripped jeans, and headscarves (yes, multiple at once, he liked having different colours). “Actually, I can, I just felt the need to be overdramatic and impractical for once,” he flopped onto the single bed. When it creaked in pain, he turned to it and said, “Yes, that’s exactly how I feel, Sirius’ bed. If I have to revise my dissertation one more time, I’m going to scream, rip my eyeballs out, and shove them into the darkest corner of Peter’s closet - and we all know what a disaster that place is! How are you doing, love?”

“Me or my bed?” Sirius asked, biting back a smile.

His boyfriend sat up, resting his hands on his knobbly knees, “You. It’s always you.”

The long-haired boy barked out a laugh, throwing down all his pens, including the one that had been in his hair, “Do you want to watch  _ Road to Zanzibar _ ?”

“Yes, please,” Remus scooted back on the bed and made grabby hands for him.

The boys cuddled together under the covers.

“Oh! I’ve just thought of another -”

“Nope,” Sirius held him down by the shoulders, “You came to me. It’s impolite to back out now.”

“... Do you have chocolate?”

“ _ Do I have chocolate _ ?” he scoffed, reaching into his bedside drawer, “Do you prefer milk, dark, almond, vanilla-infused -”

Remus cut him off with a kiss.


	25. We'll Be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three random words: hairpin, lock box, letter Characters: Lily Evans and James Potter  
> Angst TW: parents' deaths  
> Fine Line is probably playing in the background, tbh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by PetalsToFish :)

"C'mon. C'mon…" a boy with mad black hair sniffed pathetically, punching in the lock box code for the third time. He was sure he had the right one. Positive. Although the cold rain was smudging up his glasses and he might have had one more drink than he should've. He tried calling his parents' realtor, but it went to voicemail. Of course it did. It was two in the bloody morning. 

The boy sat down right in front of the door and cried. 

He barely registered the redhead clambering up the steps until she'd stopped in front of him and whispered his name, "James?"

She was soaked through just like him. The hairpin that had been holding her brilliant locks back had become viciously tangled in them. 

"Lily," he whispered, broken.

He let her warm arms encase him, let her soft fingers guide his head to her sternum. Lily knew what it was to lose her parents too.

"I miss them," he whimpered into her t-shirt, "I just wanted… I just wanted to… feel close to them… I wish I didn't have to sell our home…" James fisted his hands, digging his nails into the heel of his palm, "but I'd sink every penny all over again to find a cure…"

"Do you remember the letter you wrote me when you found out they were sick?" she spoke clearly, if quietly.

The boy nodded.

"You were worried and they were preparing you for the worst… but you also wrote that they said… they were happy," gently, Lily plucked his rain spattered glasses off his nose and kept them in her handbag as neither of them had anything dry to wipe them on, "They were happy to be together. Happy that you were older rather than younger…"

"Happy that I had you," James finished, looking up at her.

She leaned over to touch her forehead to his, "I miss them too. They were like a second family to me."

"We'll get through it," he took a shaky breath, "We'll be alright... We'll be  _ together _ ."

The redhead intertwined their fingers together and planted sweet kisses on both their engagement rings. "We'll get through it," she commanded the words like a powerful mantra, "We'll be alright. We'll be  _ together _ ."


	26. it's all fun and James until someone loses an antler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Schak :)

_Thu-thud-thu-thud-thu-thud…_

_Grr… Ra!_

_Squee-ee!_

“They’re just ten yards away from the pond now,” Moony narrated, soaring above them on his Comet, “Wormtail falling behind - ooh! Padfoot kicks some dust into his eye - Prongs in the lead - Padfoot gaining - snapping - Prongs takes a flying leap and - _Oh, shit, Merlin, Prongs! Are you alright?_ ”

The stag stumbled into an upright position.

Moony gasped, Padfoot and Wormtail ran to the edge of the pond and gestured for him to look into the still, clear waters. Prongs did so and made a low moan from the back of his animal throat. His large brown eyes looked between his mates.

“Oh, Prongs,” the only human form among them picked up the broken left antler, “They grow back, you know.”

The deer stood more stiff than usual, thumping his hooves on the ground anxiously.

“I can’t use magic to make it grow back. It’s your form. It’s not like -”

The stag began to leap about and managed to signal to his mates - one dog cocking his head to the side, one rat nibbling a mushroom, and one wizard - that he was concerned about switching back into his human form.

“What, are you afraid you’ll change back and be half bald?” Moony laughed.

A look of pure terror came over the animal’s face.

“Alright, alright,” he hushed, “We can make your hair grow back.”

Padfoot changed back, “Can we though? Normally, yes, but if he lost it in animagus form -”

The deer collapsed onto his rump in defeat. 

Wormtail changed back as well, “It’s not so bad, Prongs! My hairline is receding too! My genetic predisposition is too strong to be counteracted by magic and I don’t look too bad now, do I?” he ran a hand through his thin blond locks with exaggerated vanity.

The other boys chuckled and agreed that he did look quite spiffing in any case, but Prongs just gave him a weak nuzzle. 

“Well, you have to change back sometime,” said Moony practically, “We have Astronomy this evening -”

The stag let out another deep moan.

“Evans will be there,” Padfoot surmised and the animal nodded.

“It’ll be a good test,” Wormtail tried, “see if she still likes you if she sees you without half your hair, which you might not even end up missing if you change back -”

The deer rolled into the shallow pond morosely. 

“She barely tolerates him as it is,” Padfoot translated, “what’s he gonna do without his dashing good looks?” 

Prongs nodded into the water, snorting pathetic bubbles. 

“So what?” Moony threw his broom onto his shoulder, “You’re just going to stay a stag until the antler grows back, let Slytherin win the Inter-House Quidditch Cup -”

The deer started in terror and changed back instantly, “Over my dead body!”

“Huh…” Padfoot tilted his head.

“It… It’s really not _so_ bad…” Wormtail nibbled his thumbnail.

“What?” Prongs demanded, carding his fingers through his hair, “What am I missing?” 

“Your left eyebrow,” Moony told him quietly.

The boy peered into the pond once more, indeed his eyebrow was half shorn off and try as he might, he couldn’t get it to grow back with magic. 

“Maybe she won’t notice?” he tried to be optimistic as they walked back to the castle at dusk.

“Yeah,” Padfoot shrugged nonchalantly.

“Totally,” Wormtail nodded rapidly.

Moony dared not say a word as he smothered a chortle.


	27. Monopoly on Mischief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random words challenge: "broccoli", "purge", and "monopoly"  
> MY FIRST FANTASTIC BEASTS FIC :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by pianistbynight

“I might be new to New York, but I’m certain this isn’t normal,” Newt ran out of the way of enormous dice rolling down the street. 

“ _ No, it is not _ !” Porpentina set her jaw and turned the dice to ash with a targeted, “ _ Reducto _ !” 

“Teenie, someone turned New York City into a monopoly board!” Queenie, in stilettos, trotted over to her sister.

“ _ I noticed _ .  _ Stupefy _ !” a cardboard monopoly cop tried to take her to jail, “ _ Have you found that poltergeist yet, Mr. Scamander _ ?”

“He’s not exactly a beast, Ms. Goldstein -”

“ _ That wasn’t  _ -” she stopped to transfigure a metal dog back into its normal form, “-  _ my question _ !”

“I don’t remember broccoli being a playable piece,” commented Jacob, watching the trees transform in awe.

“Found ‘im!  _ Incarcerous _ !” Newt raised his wand at the mischievous menace, who simply giggled and disappeared, his bonds dropping to the ground, “This isn’t going to work. We need to find the children controlling him.”

“ _ He’s controlled by a bunch of children _ ?” Tina screeched, at her wits’ end with the way her auror’s ticketbook was literally burning a hole in her coat pocket with all the alerts of Secrecy Statute violations.

“Well, perhaps ‘controlled’ isn’t the right word…” Newt spotted a gaggle of children, both in street clothes and uniforms, racing magically animated versions of the steamboat, boot, and racecar pieces. The wizard smiled fondly, “And there they are!”

“ _ Stop them _ !” Tina raised her wand, but Queenie grasped her wrist and shook her head.

“Just… give ‘em a minute,” he asked her, loosening his tie and shrugging off his coat, “Let them have their fun. This depression has purged them of all their carefree days. They just want to be able to be children. So badly, in fact, that they managed to manifest a poltergeist,” he put his wand to his throat, “ _ Sonorous _ !  _ Steamboat in the lead _ !  _ Boot takes a trip and is overtaken by Racecar _ !”

The children looked at each other, uncertain of what it meant when an adult began to play. 

Queenie drew a checkered line at the end of the street and conjured a banner that read,  _ FINISH LINE _ . She turned to Jacob just as he opened his mouth, “That’s a great idea, sweetums. Hurry back!”

He started, then remembered her special ability and smiled before taking off in the direction of his bakery. 

“ _ Sonorus _ !” the blonde witch proclaimed, “ _ It’s neck and neck once more! Who will be the first to cross the finish line and win some of New York’s finest pastries? _ ”

The children gasped excitedly and urged their vehicles harder towards the group. 

“ _ Uh-oh, it appears Steamboat is having some engine trouble _ !” Newt exclaimed, clamoring onto the back of a delivery truck to get a better view, “ _ The captain goes below to assess the damage _ !”

Tina gazed up at the child-like wonder on his freckled face, lighting up his eyes, and taking over his entire - usually incredibly reserved - person. “ _ Sonorus _ !  _ Racecar takes the lead with Boot hot on their tail - Boot’s untying their shoelace - Boot gets their lace spun in Racecar’s wheel! _ ”

“Boo!” cry the children on board the racecar as their metal parts squeal and screech against each other and the obstructing lace. 

“ _ Boot takes the lead _ !” Newt helps the auror up onto the truck bed, “ _ Steamboat’s engine is back on! _ ”

“ _ Racecar is back as well after a quick pit-stop _ !” Tina added.

“ _ They’re gaining on Boot - _ ”

“ _ Coming around either side _ -”

“ _ It’s going to be a close one  _ -”

“ _And…_ ” they shared a grin, “ _it’s a tie_!” 

“ _ What an exciting race _ !” Queenie helped Jacob unload boxes of fresh bread and pastries, “ _ Come and get your prizes, children _ !  _ Quietus _ .”

“ _ Quietus _ ,” said Newt and Tina.

“So what now, Mr. Scamander?”

“Well, Ms. Goldstein, we simply wait for the tired children on their full stomachs to feel a little sleepy and our poltergeist and his conjurings should simply fade away for good. It will all simply feel like a strange and wonderful dream, so you needn’t worry about the Statute.”

“Hmm…” the auror stepped onto the GO square and chuckled, “That’s too bad. I was just about to collect my first two hundred.”

The wizard laughed, “Perhaps MACUSA might… find it in their hearts to… have a little chat with the Muggle American President? Then the children’s fun won’t have to end...”

“Mr. Scamander, I hardly hold any more sway in the ministry than the janitor elf -”

“Are you absolutely sure about that? Between you, Queenie, myself -”

“Oh, they don’t like you -”

“They can easily get rid of me by agreeing to loan the Muggles a few galleons. The exchange rate is incredible right now.”

Tina sighed and smiled at the Hufflepuff, looking so incorrigibly hopeful at her, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, his bashfulness suddenly overcoming him.

The witch looped her arm through his and they walked down the fading monopoly board street. 


	28. Battle of the Instant Songwriters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "kangaroo", "snickerdoodles", and "lamp post" - and the Marauders need to write a song including all of these words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by pianistbynight :)

"Welcome back to the Tonight Show," said Jimmy Fallon, "The Marauders have been working on their songs backstage. They had to use the words: kangaroo, snickerdoodle, and lamp post. We have Sirius Black and Remus Lupin versus James Potter and Kingsley Shacklebolt. There was a coin flip during the break, so we'll hear from James and Kingsley first."

The drummers emerged from behind the curtain, Kingsley on his drum kit and James on a drum machine.

The lead singer counted down, "One… two… three…"

_Aunty had a face like a sweet old kangaroo_

_Snickerdoodles in her pouch just for me and you_

_Aunty used to sing and swing_

_Around the lamp post down the street_

_Do you remember that song_

_Do you remember that song_

_It went, smile for me, baby_

_Stretch those rosy cheeks_

_Your parents will be back soon_

_And meantimes, you got me_

_It went, dance with me, baby_

_Tap those restless feet_

_Your parents are having fun_

_And now so will we_

The drummers traded riffs as the crowd went wild.

"Oh my god!" Jimmy lauded, "Oh my god! James Potter and Kingsley Shacklebolt everyone! Oh my god!"

James laughed, "If you need a new exclamation, try _Sweet Merlin_ or _Merlin's beard_."

"Don't listen to him," interjected Kingsley, chuckling, "He says it all the time and it sounds bloody ridiculous."

"Oi! Be nice!" he pushed his glasses back up his nose, "it's 'cause of me you're on the winning team, you know."

"Well, let's see what your bandmates have to say about that," Jimmy grinned, "Everyone give it up for Sirius Black and Remus Lupin!"

The curtain went up to loud cheers once more. The guitarist and bassist exchanged an intense glance and determined nods.

_Like a kangaroo knockout punch_

_Like the light righ'out the lamp post_

_Snickerdoodle and honeypot_

_Darling, whatever you say goes_

_(Whether you're -)_

_Pullin' me in_

_(La-la-la)_

_Takin' me out_

_(Na-na-na)_

_Lettin' me win_

_(La-la-la)_

_Callin' me out_

_(You know you're -)_

_Pullin' me in_

_(La-la-la)_

_Takin' me out_

_(Na-na-na)_

_Good like a sin_

_(La-la-la)_

_I'm your saint devout_

_(Ey!)_

The audience whistled and clamoured endlessly as Sirius' electric guitar sang out, supported by Remus' strong bass lines.

  
"Sweet Merlin! _Merlin's beard!_ I think that means Wolfstar wins!" Jimmy shook the boys' hands enthusiatically, "Thank you so much to The Marauders for playing. We'll be right back with a performance off their new album, _Mischief Managed_ , so stick around!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can check out the band au here: [Up to No Good / Mischief Managed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807419/chapters/57199033) :)


	29. Give the Nargles Something to Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by holyjactavia on Tumblr :)

Seventh-year Fred Weasley stopped short at the end of the corridor. An ash-blonde girl was staring up at the mistletoe in the middle of the hallway. Everyone moving through parted like a river around a boulder before coming back together once they’d gotten well past her. Fred knew the Ravenclaw fourth-year from Dumbledore’s Army and bravely walked right up to her, standing just outside the mistletoe’s magical pairing wards. 

“‘Lo Luna,” he grinned.

She blinked up at him languidly and smiled, “Hello, Fred.”

Usually the first question that followed upon seeing the twins separately was “Where’s the other one?” but Luna just went back to staring up at the mistletoe, saying, “The nargles are fascinating when they’re bored.”

Usually the first question that followed upon her first mention of nargles was “What’s a nargle?” or “Are you mad?” but Fred only shoved his hands in his pockets casually and asked, ““How so?”

“Well, they start procreating for one,” she said in her floaty voice, “and then their younglings hatch and eat the mistletoe berries by wrapping their long tongues around the fruit and holding it high above their mouths so that when they s queeze, the juice runs down the length of their tongue and down their throat.”

“Are they just as fascinating when they’ve got something to do?”

“I don’t know,” the girl hummed, “They’re only busy when they’re trying to get a pair to kiss and… I’ve never been close enough to see that.”

“Well, that’s easily remedied, if I may,” he gestured at the spot directly beside her. 

“For research,” she smiled mischievously. 

He stepped into the plant’s pairing wards, which Luna would later explain were not the plant’s at all, but the work of the nargles, who put their magic to work when two people stood close enough together under their nest. The boy looked up and widened his eyes as if in shock, “Merlin, look at them go! They’ve got wings like hummingbirds, don’t they?” he leaned down to her in question.

“Sure,” she mumbled, rising on her tiptoes to kiss him.

One of Umbridge’s Inquisitorial Squad gave them detention scheduled for the next week, but Fred said it wouldn’t matter in light of what he and George had planned to get rid of the toad.

“See you in the Room of Requirement later?” he whispered.

She nodded, her big blue eyes sparkling. 


	30. Puns in the Oven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolfstar meet cute fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @lupin-for-president on Tumblr :)

“Flour you sure you know what you’re dough-ing?” Sirius leaned over Remus’ shoulder, a great feat considering the latter was a good foot taller than him. 

“What makes you think I dough-not, pray tell?”

Sirius giggled. “Pray tell” was funny because they were volunteering in the basement kitchen of a cathedral. Well, Remus was volunteering. Sirius was doing community service for vandalizing one of the religious paintings. It was very realistic and no one who actually went to mass noticed the change until some kids on a field trip posted Jesus’ genitalia on Instagram. 

“Did they make Michaelangelo do community service for David? No,” he’d said at his trial, at which point the judge had had it with him.

“You’re very pro-dough-ctive,” the boy rested his chin on his hands, “but your decorating designs are piss-poor.”

“Oh, and you can do better?” he lifted a brunet eyebrow.

“I’m an artist.”

“Oh, anything I’ve seen?” Remus was teasing. 

“Jesus. Upstairs.”

“That was _you_?” he barked out a laugh before covering his mouth, like he was surprised such a sound had come out of him. 

Sirius made grabby-hands at the piping bag. 

“Well, now I’m definitely not letting you decorate,” the other boy quickly held it above his head, accidentally squeezing some pink icing onto Sirius’ nose. Slowly, he reached out a finger, swiped it off and licked it off his long digit. “… Alright?”

“… Nnngghhhh-huh.”

The piss-poor decorator bent over to continue piping icing and his pretty tush jutted out just so. Meanwhile, the observant artist knew what his next masterpiece would be.


	31. Wheat for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders play footie...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More punny fluff for @lupin-for-president <3

“Wheat a minute!” in Remus’ Welsh accent, the pun landed just right. 

“Wheat now?” Sirius was a Londoner and the pun fell decidedly flat.

“I think… I think we’re lost,” the goalkeeper plonked down by the side of the road in his red football jersey. His good humour whooshed out of him as the reality of their situation sunk in.

Somehow, they’d been left behind by their school’s bus at the rest stop and the team had gone on to finals without them.

“Well, wheat can always hitch a ride,” Sirius nodded, holding a hand out, looking up and down the empty country road, on either side of which were all wheat fields. 

“James will notice we’re missing,” Remus nodded to himself. 

“Peter will notice we’re missing,” the other boy added. 

Sure enough, the bright yellow school bus materialized on the horizon.

“ _Yes_!” Sirius jumped out onto the middle of the road and jumped up and down. 

“Why’d you lot just up and leave, eh?” Sirius bounded up the steps, followed by Remus. 

“Snape told Hooch you lads were already at the back of the bus with us,” James said darkly, “He wants off the bench, as per usual.”

“ _Why, that little_ -”

“Black,” Hooch looked over her photocopy of the team list, marking him and Remus off as present accurately this time, “Do _not_ make me suspend my best defender.”

“Yes, Coach,” he grumbled, following James to the back of the bus where the four Marauders could sit in a row together. 

“Say, where were you two anyway?” asked Peter.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other and blushed.

“ _Snogging_ ,” James cackled as the bus lurched back into motion.


	32. How's everything going on your end?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinny in Battle-mode!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by an adorably disgruntled anon, whom I hope is doing well :)  
> Offset part at the end requested by the adorable Nobothersgiventoday <3

“How is everything going on your end?” yelled Harry, firing off another _Diffindo_ at his masked attacker, who’d just finished making the typical bad-guy henchman speech about wanting to be the one to bring The Boy Who Lived to the Dark Lord.

“Of course, it’s going bad,” Ginny grunted, casting Reducto at the walls to bury the Death Eater for good, “the world is going to shit!”

“Oh, actually it’s been doing that for a while,” he _Stupefied_ another opponent as he rounded the corner.

“You don’t say,” the witch spun around, distracting Yaxley with a bat-bogey hex before hitting him with _Impedimenta_ , “Got a plan?”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Will it work?”

“In theory.”

“Does Hermione have a better one?”

“No.”

Ginny’s face paled, making her freckles stand out even more. 

“Gin,” he approached her quietly.

She kissed him quickly, “Go. Do what you have to do. I’ll be here.”

Harry looked into her brown eyes, filled with courage. He never wanted to see the light go out of them. _Ever_ . “You _will_.”

  
Then he ran for the Forbidden Forest. _Neither can live while the other survives._ And damn it if Harry didn’t want to get on with living already.

*****

Harry Potter sat in an alcove near Gryffindor Tower. He was well hidden under a worn, burnt tapestry. It was over. He was free. Then why did he feel so damn empty inside?

“I’m just going to assume you were planning on telling me you were alive after you’ve finished whatever it is you’re doing.”

The boy jumped up and swished the tapestry aside. 

Ginny Weasley stood with her arms at her side, wand in hand. Everyone was tired, but not everyone had a home to go back to right away, so many of those who fought remained at Hogwarts, slowly making repairs. 

“I assumed you’d know a ghost couldn’t duel Voldemort,” he bit the inside of his cheek, knowing she wouldn’t like his sarcasm now.

“We’re all hurting, Harry,” she took his hand firmly and pulled him along like a child, “so let’s not hurt alone, yeah?”

Harry stopped suddenly and pulled her backwards so she practically stumbled into his arms. “Gin…” he whispered into her lips, “I know we can’t just pick up where we left off last year, but I lo-”

“What do you mean  _ we can’t _ ?” her eyes swirled like chocolate pudding and Harry really should have known that word was like a trigger for her; she was a Weasley after all, “Of course, we can!”

Then she kissed him hungrily and he returned it with fervour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reached a follower milestone on Tumblr @littlejeanniebean, so hit me up with requests, I'm celebrating!


	33. Head Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What have you been up to?" Requested by bellasprezzaturaa on Tumblr :)

"What have you been up to?" all eyes in their friend group riveted on the new couple that had just entered through the portrait hole. James’ shirt was untucked, which wasn’t unusual in itself, but so was Lily’s. James’ hair looked like he’d just played a particularly vicious Quidditch match and Lily’s socks came up to different heights on her legs. 

"Head business," said Lily.

"Obviously," added James unnecessarily.

"Giving and receiving?" Sirius chortled.

Lily's cheeks colored to match her hair while James’ hand flew to the back of his neck, as he often did when he didn’t know what to say.

"They're not even denying it!" Marlene squirmed in her seat gleefully. 

“I’m going to the library,” said Lily, about-facing and stepping right back out of the common room.

“Quidditch,” James mumbled, following her, “Hey, Evans!”

“Potter,” she crossed her arms at him.

“What are you mad at me for?” he mimicked her stance, “You could have denied it.”

“You didn’t.”

“Well,  _ we _ didn’t -”

“Just forget it.”

“Evans -”

“I’m not mad at you… At least, I don’t think I am…”

“Then what is it?” he stepped closer to her, close enough that he could count the freckles across her nose. 

“I…” she lost her train of thought looking into his hazel eyes. Did he know they had flecks of gold in them? “I’m going to kiss you.”

“Okay,” he leaned in. 

“Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans,” McGonagall beckoned them from the bottom of the staircase, “I have some head business for you to attend to.”

“Merlin,” muttered James.

“Dammit,” said Lily ruefully, trying to hide a smile, holding out her hand to him as she descended the stairs, “I guess we’d better go.”

She would have plenty of other opportunities to kiss him. And if she played her cards right, maybe even the rest of their lives. 


	34. Do you need help?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James duels Snape and Lily steps in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by YouBlitheringIdiot and pianistbynight <3

Nearing midnight, the silence of the castle was broken, “ _ Confringo _ !”

“ _ Incarcerous _ !”

As head girl, Lily ran towards the sound of what was clearly an unmoderated duel. 

“ _ Expelliarmus _ !”

“ _ Expulso _ !”

Both boys jumped to avoid the other’s spells. One pushed his glasses further up his nose and the other pulled up the sleeves of his dark black robes.

“ _ Sectumsempra _ !”

“ _ Protego Maxima _ !”

Lily leaned against a pillar casually, having noted the ease of the head boy’s stance, “Do you need help?”

“Nah, I’m -  _ Locomotor Mortis _ ! - good, thanks! Apart from Sniv-Snape, here, this side of the castle is sound asleep.”

“Brilliant,” the redhead continued to watch them fire jinxes back and forth. 

“Are you really going to let him get away with attacking a prefect?” Snape snarled at her, “He ought to have his badge removed immediately!”

“I heard the duel start,” she replied coldly, “You cast first. Would you care to finish what you started or should I intervene and write you up?”

“ _ Flipendo tria _ !” Snape growled. 

“ _ Relashio _ !” James spun around and fired back. 

Lily reached down for James’ book bag and checked the map. She knew how Filch’s rounds overlapped with theirs and he should be - yes, there he was and moving quickly towards the sounds of the duels. 

“ _ Expelliarmus _ !” she fired.

Snape’s wand hit the stone wall just as Filch’s voice carried down the hall, “Students out of bed! Students in the corridor!”

“It’s just us, Mr. Filch, good evening,” she grinned, stooping down to scratch Mrs. Norris behind the ears, “Snape attacked James, but we’ve got it under control. Don’t we, Head Boy?”

“Here you are, Snape,” the dark haired boy handed his nemesis a detention slip and retrieved his book bag, “We’ll be headed back to Gryffindor Tower now, good evening.”

Not giving one last whit to the Slytherin’s glowering, the heads raced up the Grand Staircase neck in neck.

“Got you!” James picked her up and carried her up the last three steps to the Fat Lady’s portrait. 

Lily stiffened as a thought suddenly occurred to her. She’d been getting much closer to the Gryffindor Chaser this year, but had he really changed or did she simply want to believe he had? “You didn’t provoke him, did you? Goad him into a duel? I’ll know if you're lying.”

“I didn’t. I solemnly swear it. He came out from behind one of the pillars and just started duelling me for no reason…” the boy puzzled, “Actually, maybe it wasn’t for no reason! I saw it, Lils, I think. On his arm.”

“On his - no!” the redhead balked, “No, he’s… he’s a git! He’s a git like you were, but he’s not… he  _ wouldn’t _ … Sure he’s… he’s  _ said _ things, but he’d never actually...”

“I can’t be sure. It was dark. But there  _ was _ something there and if it was just a  _ really _ dark spot of dirt, I think he would’ve  _ scourgified _ it.”

Lily deflated, muttering the password to the Fat Lady.

He followed her into the common room, “Would you like me to find out for su-”

“No!” she said immediately, “No, thank you… James… Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Lily,” the boy watched her disappear up the staircase. 


	35. The One with the Tornado

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to pianistbynight for the three-word prompt: palm trees, footfalls, and tornado!

This was not how Lily saw her senior prom night panning out. 

_ Ooooweeeeoooo _ !  _ Ooooweeeeoooo _ ! 

The tornado warning was still going. The actual tornado had yet to arrive. But here she was, sitting in the cellar anyway - not her high school’s cellar, but that of the old school building that was a historic site in their small town. 

She was dressed in an azure mermaid cut dress - it was a beach party theme - but her date didn’t show. He was a year ahead, already in university, but because of the tornadoes forecasted, he couldn’t make it. Lily found herself mad at him, although no one could control the weather, yet she’d let her girlfriends convince her she didn’t want to miss out. So she showed for their sake - before too many people showed up - then quickly ran across the football field to the old school building. To hide from the shame. Like a coward. 

Suddenly she heard the doors above her open. The wind howled and she could hear some loose items banging around. Then they shut and footfalls clamoured down the rickety steps. 

The boy who’d arrived was wearing a bright red t-shirt with green palm trees printed on it. His jet black hair was a mess despite the amount of product in it and the first thing he did after he jettisoned himself off the second to the last step, was run his hands through those locks, making them stand on end even more. 

“James Po-”

“ _ Ah _ !” He screamed in time with the wind outside.

Lily raised a cool eyebrow. “Alright?”

“I didn’t know anyone else was down here.”

“Clearly.” She stepped out from under the stairs. “James Potter, right?”

“Er, yeah, hi.” Her dress caught him completely off-guard. But then again, everything she did tended to take his breath away. “Evans?”

“Lily.” She grimaced. Despite her bright red hair, her nose pinched the same way her older sister’s did and her lips were the same thin pink line. No one in town liked her older sister, or her new fiance, very much. 

“Ah, right.” James scratched his neck sheepishly. He thought it might be creepy to let her in on the fact that he knew exactly who she was - yearbook editor, voted ‘most likely to succeed,’ tied for valedictorian with his friend, Remus. But she seemed rather upset with him anyway. “So, uh… what brings you down here?”

“I might ask you the same question,” she crossed her pale arms as the building creaked and groaned in the wind. 

“But I asked first,” he grinned impishly. 

“I often come here. To think.”

“And miss out on prom?” James had stumbled upon the perfect excuse to look her up and down. “In  _ that _ dress?” 

“Why are  _ you _ here?” 

“No date.” 

“ _ You _ ?” Lily almost laughed before she realized that would be terribly impolite. It’s just that he was  _ James Potter _ . Football captain, voted “most likely to marry rich,” and his best friend, Sirius Black was nothing if not the best wingman in town. 

“Heh, it’s kind of a long story.” 

The wind picked up some more and what sounded like a tree hit the side of the building. 

“Well, if we don’t die here, we’ve got nothing but time.” Lily shrugged and added, “I didn’t have a date either.”

James’ eyes almost bugged out from behind his glasses. “What about Mr. University?”

“Excuse me?” her voice went up an octave. Didn’t he  _ just _ learn her first name? How did he know about -

“I just, I mean,” James stumbled over the words, “you don’t see a set of wheels like _ that _ around here very often.” 

So he knew her boyfriend when he didn't even know her. Ha! What a night to feel sorry for herself. "I see."

James walked around the small cellar, staying close to the walls. He turned to her, hazel eyes soft. "You look beautiful."

Lily took another look at his gaudy beach shirt for good measure. "You look ridiculous."

He laughed - genuinely! - and she felt like the worst person in the world. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Your hair looks better without product in it. But it's not bad."

"Thanks. You don't like the shirt, then?"

Lily tilted her head, fishtail braid swinging by her cheek. "You know what? It's growing on me."

James laughed again as a threatening rumble came from outside. One of the beams overhead squeaked. 

"We'd probably be safer under the stairs," Lily surmised.

"Good idea," he ducked his head to follow her.

They stood quietly, shoulder to shoulder. The tornado had arrived it would seem, and kept them from having to keep a conversation going. 

"I'd've come to you," James whispered.

Lily wouldn't have heard him over the racket, except he was standing right beside her, so she couldn't miss it. 

"What?" she turned to face him.

"I…" he turned to her as well. "I wouldn't have let a tornado stop me from spending tonight with you."

"Well, you have the benefit of knowing what you'd be missing out on." Lily felt she had to at least try to defend her absentee boyfriend.

James shrugged, but it looked more like the way he'd slowly roll his shoulders once he took his football pads off. Not that Lily had noticed or that she found his movements on and off the field extremely attractive. She was seeing someone. Someone with maturity and ambition and - 

"I know you're worth it," said James. 

Lily blinked once, twice. "I'm seeing some-"

"I know you're seeing someone," he added quickly, ducking his head and turning away. "I'm not making a pass, just an observation."

Lily's mouth was almost a perfect 'o' as she stared at him. 

"The alarms have stopped," James tilted his head as the silence enveloped them. 

"I guess…" the redhead licked her lips, "we can go now."

"Yeah," the boy stepped out from under the stairs and she followed him. 

"I wished we'd talked more," she said suddenly, stopping him halfway up the stairs. "None of this… high school clique b.s."

"Same," he replied immediately, taking two steps at a time to get back down to her. He pushed his glasses up his nose. "Listen, after graduation…"

"Hogsmeade Uni?" Lily asked hopefully.

James smiled widely. "Hogsmeade Uni."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cue the College!AU ;)


	36. 5 Times They Didn't Know Each Other's Names and The 1 Time They Did

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marauders (Jily) Spy AU  
> “I’m not jealous.” and/or “No no no no no.”

_ Five _ .

“Hello,” a debonair young man, or indeed one who thought himself so, alighted from the lift at Level 0 and ran a hand through his artfully mussed dark locks.

The lab belonged to a woman who went by the moniker Scarlet, the same way the young man went by the name Red. It was easy to see how she got her name. Her hair was as bright as a flame. The man had gotten his because he had a special affinity for getting himself into Code Red scenarios and such scenarios often required him to press some Big Red Buttons. It annoyed Scarlet to no end. 

“You get a pen and nothing more until your probation is up.” She handed him a heavy fountain pen with a sharp, glinting gold tip. 

“Does it have poison in it?” He unscrewed it eagerly.

“No.” She uncovered an attractive set of headphones that were also explosive devices and powerful electromagnets. They were green-tagged though, which meant they were not for him. “Jealous?” she taunted him. 

“I’m not jealous.” He looked back down at his pen. “Lasers?” 

“No.”

“A tracking device at  _ least _ ?” 

“No.”

“ _ Seriously _ ?” He gave her his best doleful look. 

“It’s your own fault.” Scarlet shrugged. Heartlessly, Red might add. 

“If I die, you’ll regret it. Do you really want that on your conscience?” 

“M said you might say that. She said to tell you that you’re also on desk duty until your probation is up.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“Hence the pen.”

“You’ve  _ got _ to be kidding me.”

“Back upstairs with you,” Scarlet shooed him in the direction of the lift. 

“I hate you.”

“The feeling is mutual after what you did to poor Sydney.”

“Sydney?”

“The  _ car _ , Red! Sydney 5.7!” 

“Oh,” he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “May she rest in peace.”

“More like  _ pieces _ .” Scarlet glowered. “At the bottom of the Thames -”

“Alright, I get it.” Red backed away. “I’m going.”

_ Four. _

“I’m back!” Red raised his arms grandly as he stepped off the lift at Level 0. “I know how much you missed me, Scarlet, so you don’t have to tell me.” 

“The way I miss work when I’m on vacation.” The redhead didn’t look up from what appeared to be a plain brown wallet. Its lining held the chips that made it a master key for everything with an electric lock. You just had to hold it to the keypad for five seconds to activate it.

“But you never go on vacation.” Red pointed out. 

“And like the perpetuity of my work,  _ you _ are an ever-present thorn in my side.” She handed him the wallet and a pair of spectacles.

“So are you saying,” he put the specs on and struck a pose in the little mirror over her shoulder, “that if I were to die, tragically -”

“What is it with you and threatening me with  _ your _ life?”

“- never to be seen again, then you would miss me?” he pushed the glasses further up his nose so they framed his hazel eyes perfectly. 

Scarlet huffed, “Good, they fit.”  _ He _ was fit and the glasses suited him a little too well for her liking.

“Of course, you’re Her Majesty’s foremost R&D specialist!” he beamed at her.

She threw the car keys in his face, but he caught them with his fast reflexes. 

“I’ll take good care of Sydney 5.8!” he promised. 

“You better!” she called after him. 

_ Three.  _

“Okay, don’t be mad.” Red handed her the car keys. 

“Where is 5.8?” Scarlet crossed her arms and narrowed her forest-green eyes. 

“In a mining tunnel.”

“Let me guess, crushed by the weight of a mountain?” She put the car keys in a little box and appeared to mourn the car. 

Red recalled the fiery explosion that had overtaken the tunnel and almost turned him to ashes. “Something like that.”

“I’m downgrading you to Lilian.” She said finally. 

“That’s fair.” Red nodded, eager to be past it. 

_ Two. _

“I see you’re not dead.” Scarlet greeted him as he swaggered out of the lift, running his hands through his jet-black hair. 

“Likewise,” he grinned impishly.

“Here’s a hat.” She gave him a ten gallon cowboy hat. “You’re good with accents, right?” 

“Does it do anything?” he tried it on. 

“You can hide things in it. It’s x-ray proof, infrared proof, and idiot proof because as you can clearly see, you have it on backwards.”

“Oh.” He fixed it, then held his hands behind his back for her inspection. 

“You’ll never make a convincing cowboy,” was her verdict. “I don’t know what M was thinking with this identity.”

“Oh, it wasn’t her. It was my handler, Lupin. He has a strange sense of humour.”

“Clearly. Godspeed, Red.”

Red tipped his hat to her. “Much obliged, ma’am.”

_ One.  _

“You couldn’t make it bulletproof, huh?” Red parked Lilian 3.2 directly in front of her test shooting range, which she’s expressly informed all the agents  _ not to do _ .

So Scarlet put on her best angry face and turned around, saying, “Hey! You can’t park he-shit, Red, what the  _ fuck _ happened?”

“It’s just a graze.” Then he put on an accent and a lopsided grin. “Mighty close, though, Miss Scarlet.” 

She pressed the Big Red Button on her ruby-colored watch and private paramedics arrived. 

_ Zero. _

Scarlet looked up as the lift opened on her level. “You shouldn’t be down here, Red.”

“Lily Evans.” 

Her head shot up and her hands went to the underside of her workstation where she kept her guns. She might be in R&D and not an agent, but she could still kill a man where he stood at a twelve-yard range. 

“It’s okay, I’m… benched. Indefinitely. With my injuries, I’ll never operate as good as I used to.” 

“And you, what, looked me up immediately?”

“No no no no no,” he shook his head seriously. “One of my best friends, another agent, was benched a few years ago. I found him first. Of all the names he could’ve picked, he actually went with  _ Sirius Black _ .”

“Wait… I  _ know _ him.” Lily perked up. “His operating name used to be Padfoot.”

“I know.” Red grinned. “When we worked as partners, my operating name was Prongs.”

“Good call to change it.” She laughed. “What’s your name now?”

“James,” He proffered his hand.

“Oh, no, you didn’t!” She laughed again. “M would  _ never _ allow it!”

“James Potter.” He smiled wide. “Pleased to meet you.”


	37. Stark Naked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20 questions, wrong number, "i'm going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else" for Hinny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by a wonderful anon on Tumblr :)

**+20 1379 2517:** So… I’m stark naked outside your flat.

**Ginny:** then i'm going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.

**+20 1379 2517:** Shit, you’re not Ron.

Sorry, wrong number.

**ginny:** ok, now i’m even more interested. this is ron’s old number. who are you and how do you know him?

wait, don’t tell me.

you’re his latest one night stand and he’s thrown you out because his girlfriend’s suddenly popped in through the fire escape. am i getting warm?

**+20 1379 2517:** As much as I would love to play 20 questions with you, I am, as mentioned previously, stark naked outside my best mate’s flat.

**ginny:** pleased to meet you, stark naked. there’s nothing good on the telly, so i’m afraid you’re my only entertainment. 

**stark naked:** Since you seem to know Ron, would you mind giving him a ring at his new number?

**ginny:** he’s not picking up. sorry. guess you’re out of luck.

**stark naked:** Your sympathy touches my heart, truly. 

**ginny:** you’re clearly a dude otherwise your initial text would have been more urgently phrased. so why not just pluck up some courage and ask the neighbours for some threads?

**stark naked:** And you’re clearly NOT a dude since you don’t seem to know how rude that could come off!

**ginny:** as long as you make an effort to cover your bits and look embarrassed i can tell you, as one clearly NOT a dude, that i’d be positively chuffed to have you pop by, if only for enough goss to last me a week. 

**stark naked:** Please try Ron again. Or just text me his number, please. 

**ginny:** now, hold on just a minute, i still don’t know you from adam. you could be a scammer trying to get his number so you can hack his email and drain his accounts! 

**stark naked:** I’d send you a picture of myself outside his flat, but that’d be borderline creepy GIVEN MY CURRENT STATE WHICH YOU REFUSE TO TAKE PITY ON AND MAKE AN ACTUAL EFFORT TO HELP ME INSTEAD OF GIGGLING YOUR WAY THROUGH LOVE ISLAND!!!

**ginny:** i’ll have you know i was watching the great british bake off. 

just take the pic from the neck up and make sure you get the flat number in it. 

_stark naked sent an attachment._

**ginny:** looking good, stark naked. i don’t usually go for guys with glasses, but damn, you make them werkkk ;)

**stark naked:** Please. Send. Me. Ron’s. New. Number.

**ginny:** oh, i already tried him again and he said he’s on his way. the lift is slow, so he’s taking the stairs.

**stark naked:** I hate you.

He’s here. 

We’re inside.

The door’s closed.

It’s a miracle no one actually saw me. 

**ginny:** so… why were you stark naked outside my brother’s flat anyhow??

**stark naked:** Wait. YOU’RE his sister? His football-crazy little sister who snogged the socks off every bloke in her year before graduating sixth-form??

**ginny:** i see he neglected to mention the football scholarship and the fact that it was ONE bloke whose guts he just happened to hate the most. 

so. i ask again. your goods are out because…?

**stark naked:** Skinny dipping after-party in the pool in his complex. 

**ginny:** wHaT wAs tHe pArTy-pArTy??

**stark naked:** Dive bar on the roof. 

**ginny:** i cannot believe he didn’t invite me. in fact, i am absolutely disgusted.

i’m sorry that was such a little sister thing to say. 

i’m totally better than that. 

totally. better.

**stark naked:** I believe you. A bit of a maverick prankster, but I know worse. 

**ginny:** wow. you’re weirdly chill after the almost-embarrassment i put you through. 

**stark naked:** Yeah, I get that a lot. 

Being weirdly chill, not almost-embarrassed. 

Ron’s asking me who I’m texting. What do you want me to say?

**ginny:** your side-chick.

**stark naked:** You’re lucky I’m a master of sarcasm or he never would’ve bought it. I haven’t even had a “main-chick” since the summer after grammar school…

**ginny:** forgive me for being forward, but i can fix that.

**stark naked:** Um, learn my name first, maybe?

**ginny:** tom.

dick. (ha! no pun intended)

harry.

**stark naked:** Third time’s a charm.

**ginny:** wow. really? sweet. 

hi harry :)

  
 **harry:** Hi Ginny. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I love hearing from you <3 If you want to make a request, you can ask me [on Tumblr](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/post/623645757803773952/setting-trope-sentence-prompt-game) or in the comments below!


	38. Maneuvers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts AU (Pre HBP’s kiss flirting ❤️) -Mutual Pining -“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me?” + “Why are you so annoying?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by a lovely anon :)

Harry stood in the middle of the Quidditch pitch at four in the morning on a Saturday, breathing deeply. He was alone, or so he thought. 

“Why are you so annoying?” Ginny huffed.

“We don’t have practice,” Harry held up his hands to show he had nothing to do with why she was awake this early. 

“But you just  _ had _ to let slip that you were turning in early last night for a private session,” she huffed again, a stray fiery tendril caressing her cheek as it fell back. 

Harry just raised an eyebrow at her. 

“What?” Ginny summoned their brooms. “You think I’m just going to  _ let _ you be the most dedicated player on the team?” 

The bespectacled boy guffawed. “No, of course not. You’re going to give me a run for my money. Time of day be damned!”

“That’s right,” Ginny crossed her arms. That combined with her sleepy sluggishness meant that Harry had to leap in front of her to catch both their brooms before they hit her in the face. “Thanks,” she muttered, just a bit sourly. 

The dark-haired boy grinned cheekily and held her Comet above his head. “You’re welcome to it if you can reach it.”

“Watch me.” She glowered, but then just stood there. 

Harry raised his other eyebrow. “You’re like, five feet tall. How are you gonna --”

She tackled him to the ground.

“Oof!” His glasses were knocked off his head and whenever that happened, his only priority was getting them back. 

Ginny got her hands on her broom, still settled astride him. 

“Oi! I can’t see, Gin!” Harry laughed. 

“Your fault,” she shrugged, but picked up his glasses nonetheless and settled them gently on his face, tracing her finger along the bridge of his nose. 

Harry blinked up at her, seeing her red hair practically aflame with the rising sun behind her. She was beautiful. 

“Alright there, Potter?” Ginny smirked, shifting her hips ever so slightly over his. 

Harry sat up quickly before he choked on the saliva pooling at the back of his throat. Big mistake. They were now practically nose to nose. “Er, well, um, since you’re here…”

“Yes…?” Ginny picked pieces of grass out of his hair teasingly. 

“We should practice some Seeker maneuvers since you’re my reserve,” Harry said quickly, ducking his head to hopefully hide his blush a bit. 

“I’d love to practice some  _ maneuvers _ with you, Harry,” she winked, standing -- blessedly, as he didn’t know if he would have ever recovered if she’d stayed put, an inch away from his face. “See you in the air!”

Harry stumbled to his feet and mounted his Firebolt, chasing after her, feeling just like any other sixteen-year-old boy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think / comment a request below!


	39. Integral Insights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Ginny talking about Harry during OotP!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by the sweet magdalenehawthorne (justjily on Tumblr)!

"Merlin's arse," Sirius murmured, seeing Harry and Ginny walk into the dining room at Grimmauld Place together, laughing about something or another, elbows touching, hands brushing occasionally. 

It was like seeing two ghosts -- Harry's jet-black hair, pointed jaw, and slanted nose supporting his wire-rimmed glasses, Ginny's fiery red hair contrasting with her pale skin. Slowly, the differences began to pop, breaking him out of his stupor -- Harry's bright green eyes, Ginny's constellation of freckles.

Harry and Sirius embraced each other tightly.

Suddenly, Fred and George materialized out of thin air, having earned their apparition licenses. 

"Harry!" They said in unison.

"Our magnanimous investor!" George clapped him in the back.

"Care to be the first to see the spoils?" Fred rubbed his palms together gleefully.

"Second," Ginny smirked, leaning casually against the door frame. 

"Traitor," Fred stuck out his tongue at her.

"Third," Sirius amended, scratching behind his left ear.

"He's a Marauder in spirit," George waved him off. 

Harry laughed. "Alright, let's see what you've got."

"Excellent!" The twins beamed, taking either of his arms and apparating him upstairs. 

"An honorary Marauder, huh?" Ginny ambled towards Sirius. "I begged for  _ years _ and --  _ pfft _ ! -- nothing."

Sirius chuckled. "I… might've provided some… integral insights."

" _ I _ have integral insights," she feigned offense.

Sirius put his hands up in surrender. "So… you and my godson, eh?"

Ginny sputtered, "Uh, wha--no! I mean, not that I  _ don't _ like him, but not that I  _ do _ like him --" she stopped herself, taking a deep breath. "He's become a really good friend to me. In fact, I ought to be the one questioning  _ you _ , Sirius Black."

The man stiffened. "Is that right?"

"What do you know about children?" Ginny narrowed her eyes at him. "Harry is fifteen this year, so technically not a child anymore, but  _ trust me _ , teenagers are worse."

"I know," Sirius relaxed. "I was one once."

She shook her head. "You misunderstand me. Harry's not like normal teenagers."

"Bold of you to assume I could possibly be normal." He gestured around them. "Growing up in a house like this. With people… like the lady whose portrait hangs in the hall." 

Ginny winced, thinking of 'Mistress Black' as Kreacher referred to her. "Then why haven't you moved him in with you? Away from the Dursleys?"

"Dumbledore's orders." Sirius' lips twitched, just shy of a scowl. "Harry's mother saved him as a baby. That magic is tied to her blood, even now."

"Her sister," Ginny spat. " _ Ugh _ , I'm glad I only have brothers."

A smile crept up Sirius's hollow cheeks. It occured to Ginny that he might've been handsome once. 

"You have my blessing, by the way," he said.

"I'm sorry?" Ginny looked at him incredulously.

"Harry. You make him happy."

She blinked rapidly. "I -- I  _ literally _ just said --"

"Why are you redheads always so stubborn?" Sirius buried his face in his hands melodramatically. "I swear, it's Seventh Year all over again!"

"Uh-huh, well, it was nice seeing you again," Ginny took a cookie from the jar on the shelf and stuffed it all in her mouth at once. 

"You too, my future god-daughter-in-law!" Sirius said extra loudly. 

"Ogh muh goh," Ginny almost choked on the cookie when she saw Harry reappear in the doorway. 

Sirius winked at them both and disapparated with a chipper  _ pop _ , leaving the two teenagers to blush profusely and not look each other in the eye for about ten intensely awkward seconds. 

"Want a cookie?" asked Ginny. 

"Sure," Harry took one so he wouldn't have to talk. 

"So…" she walked the long way around the dining table so she wouldn't have to brush past him to get to the door. "I have homework --"

Harry swallowed quickly, "Yeah, me tugh, so --"

"See you around?" They said at the same time. "Yeah, bye!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do let me know what you think and feel free to drop a request any time, loves! :)


	40. So, we need to have another fucking hall meeting about people teleporting in the halls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @justjily on Tumblr <3

Lily Evans was extremely chuffed about getting a job as Gryffindor hall’s RA. 

_ Extremely _ . 

_ Chuffed _ . 

Who was she kidding? This was a bloody disaster. 

“So, we need to have another fucking hall meeting about people teleporting in the halls,” she told Remus, her fellow RA, who happened to be a werewolf. 

“Who has the most warnings on them?” Remus asked distractedly. He had an exam in Ancient Runes 112 coming up and although he was smart, he couldn’t possibly cram a whole two months of lectures into one night in time for the midterm. It wasn’t entirely his fault. The full moon hit him hard last weekend. 

Lily waved her wand to check the list of warning spells she’d fired at everyone she’d caught out that night alone. “James Potter and Sirius Black.”

“Oh, they’re my roommates.”

“Great, then you can talk to them —”

“No, that is exactly why I should  _ not _ be the one to tell them off! We have three prank wars going!”

“Is… that why your highlighters summoned a demon in the library when you arranged them… you know, the way you do for Spirits and the Underworld?”

“No, I just wanted the demon to eat my homework so Professor Prisponya could fail me out of his class —”

“I’ll tell them to put a stop to the pranking while I’m at it.”

“Thank you,” Remus sighed and snuggled further into his tattered but very cozy sweater. 

Lily had a courseload to rival his, of course, but what she lacked in quickness and sharpness of wit, she made up for in hard work and actually sticking to a freaking study schedule. Anyway, she jogged up the stairs to the second floor — why? Because  _ teleporting was banned in the bloody hallways _ ! And she was a rule-abiding student! Unlike some no-good schmucks who decided to put a dent in her Sunday evening. She could be halfway through the latest episode of  _ Order of the Occult _ by now. 

“Oi! Wormtail!” she could hear someone yell inside the room. “Someone’s at the door!”

“It’s your turn, Padfoot!”

“Nuh-uh! It’s Prongs’!” 

“Well, then why are you telling —”

“Sorry, hello.” The door was opened by a tall boy with a lean, swarthy body on full display save the pillow over his crotch. “Every time I get the bloody door, my clothes vanish. It’s Sirius Black’s fault if you want to —”

Lily fired off a spell at the cackling boy with pale skin and features that were somehow both sharp and delicate. She assumed he was Sirius given the massive tattoo across his chest of the constellation his namesake was a part of. 

Sirius waved his wand to check what she’d done. “Banned from the rec centre? Oh, come on, Evans!” 

“It wears off ten days after you release the spell on Remus’ highlighters and…?”

“James,” the boy standing there starkers supplied. 

“Right,” she turned back to Sirius. “So I suggest you quit it as soon as possible.”

“Ugh, fine,” he flicked his wand carelessly in James’ direction and the boy’s briefs materialized on him. 

“The rest of his clothes now, please?” Lily narrowed her eyes, unamused.

“Oh, it’s fine.” James stretched and flexed. “I was just sleeping in these before you arrived.”

“Oh, you were, were you?” Lily raised a fiery red eyebrow. “Because not ten minutes ago, I seem to recall hexing your arse for teleporting in the hallway again.”

“I had to hand in my Transfiguration 223 assignment before midnight tonight!” he protested. “And if I’d used the door, I’d’ve had to do it in my birthday suit! McGonagall would’ve sent me straight back!”

“I — Wait, you’re in McGonagall’s class? That’s honours' level!” 

“I’m trying to transfer. Hence the assignment. If I do well, I’m in.”

Lily looked at him skeptically. “That was just tonight, though. Then there was Friday, Thursday, and Tuesday.”

“It was Taco Tuesday,” he mumbled, having at least the decency to look chastised, unlike Sirius, who had been with him that time. 

“And what was Black doing out?” she continued the interrogation. 

James turned to look at his roommate.

“I was just checking on a friend. He’s going through a… bit of a rough patch, shall we say.”

Lily clenched her jaw. They’d had one exchange student from Beauxbatons complain of someone wallpapering their dorm with sandpaper. Why, he seemed too embarrassed to say. With deadly aim, she hexed them both and told them that every time they teleported, they added one more day to their sentence.

“What did you do?” James asked nervously. 

“It activates the next time you decide to teleport, so tell me, do you want to find out?”

He shook his head vehemently. 

“Good.”

She marched out of the room. 

James sighed and followed her out, shutting the door behind him. “Hey, Lily —”

She whipped her head around to make sure the hallway was empty. “What?”

He stepped forward shyly and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Good night.”

“You — You can’t — You’re in McGonagall’s class too now —  _ Remus  _ is in her class!” she shook her head, pushing him away, but that meant her hands touched his chest — his  _ bare _ chest, and, well, her heartbeat picked up and she blushed, and had all those usual butterflies-in-her-stomach feelings she tended to have around him. 

“I’m… sorry?” James was confused. "I thought you'd be happy to be sharing more than one class with the bloke you're dating and more importantly, I really enjoy Transfiguration and want to take an advanced class in it."

"And you should take it!" Lily sighed. "I just… my sister goes here too… and… my ex and… they've scared every other bloke off as soon as they found out about him…"

James pursed his lips. "Lily, if someone is truly mad for you, not even one of Moony's highlighter demons should be able to scare them off. And I happen to be great at trials by fire. Literally. I aced our Elementals midterm."

"I remember." She smiled softly, her peridot eyes skimming over his dark eyebrows, pink lips, and strong chin.

"So… care to come back in? I could introduce you to the rest of the lads —"

A blaring alarm cut him off and Remus barrelled towards them. "Hi, Lily. Bye, Lily."

James quickly ducked into his room as well and Lily teleported to the girls' side of the hall. She really  _ was _ a rule-abiding student, but you'll see why such drastic measures were necessary in a minute. She tumbled into the room she shared with her friends. As soon as the alarm stopped, the hallway floor turned into lava. Such was the curfew at Hogwarts University. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing, you can follow me @jccolewrites on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/jccolewrites/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/jccolewrites) for something exciting on the wayyyy xx


	41. guess who didnt sleep because someone backfired a spell in the bathroom at 3am and the whole building had to evacuate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See Previous Chapter for Part 1 :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @jamespottershenanigans on Tumblr <3  
> Bonus scene requested by @pianistbynight on Tumblr xx

_ Boom!  _

If she kept her eyes closed, maybe it would just go awa—

_ BOOM! _

Ugh, there was no way she could plausibly sleep through that. 

_ Creeeeaaaak! _

“What the fuck is that?” Mary MacDonald, one of Lily’s roommates, stumbled into their common area. “RA, RA! Your services are required!”

“I’m going, I’m going,” Lily grumbled, pulling on her fire-proof suit — the floor being lava outside their door and all that. She also picked up what looked like their vacuum cleaner. 

“Is it Myrtle again?” Dorcas Meadowes came out of her bedroom and went straight to the kitchen for a midnight snack. 

“Poor girl,” said Marlene McKinnon, the TOG (Troll, Ogre, Giant) wrestling enthusiast — this bears mentioning because she has all the t-shirts and wears them everywhere.

“Poor me,” Lily huffed and waded through the thick, molten lava to the girl’s room. 

One of other girls on their floor, Emmeline Vance shook her wand at the pig-tailed, bespectacled ghost. “She scared the shit out of me!” 

“You should know better than to fire a spell at an undead!” Lily confiscated her wand. “You get this back in the morn— _ Myrtle! _ ”

“Yes?” the ghost girl simpered. “What can I do for you, sweetie?”

“Put a stop to the water.”

“You know I can’t touch anything,” Myrtle giggled. “I’m a ghost!”

“And they’re one of the only undead with powers including elemental control, now please —”

“Ooh, ‘please!’ So polite —”

Lily pointed the hand-held vacuum cleaner at her. “Don’t make me.”

“Ugh, so tiny! How do you expect me to —”

Lily shoved the open end in her face. 

“ _ Eeeek _ ! Alright, alright!” Myrtle dove into the pipes and shut the water off. 

“Thank —”

_ Boom! _

“What the fu—”

Lily’s pager beeped. “What’s going on, Remus?”

“The bloody toilet’s exploded!” his Welsh accent always thickened when he was stressed. “I have an exam at 8am tomorrow, Evans! And it’s 3 in the morning!”

“Can you get it under control or do you need me to—”

“Shit, Wormtail — The sudden change in water pressure forced the basilisk out of hiding.”

Before the pet policies were revised, they’ve had students bring everything from acromantulas to, yes, basilisks. 

“Was anyone hurt?”

“Peter Pettigrew must’ve seen it in the mirror. He’s petrified.”

“Alright, well, just… leave him there.” She massaged her temples. “He can’t get dead now that he’s petrified. Evacuate the building. Use mirrors when turning corners.”

“Obviously.” 

“Um…” Emmeline tapped her shoulder. “I have a Potions assignment that’s due tomorrow morning. That’s why I came in here for water to dilute my slug slime —”

Lily grabbed her hand and teleported them to the front lawn of the hall. What was it with people and doing every bloody thing at the last bloody minute?

“Lily!” James sprinted towards her, dodging the gnomes, who were popping up from under the grass, angry at being disturbed from their slumber. “Thank Merlin you’re alright!”

“I have to go back in. Evacuate the girls’ dorms —”

“I’m coming with you —”

“It’s the  _ girls’ _ dorms, James. The repellant spells are still active.”

“I’m bi, it’s fine.”

She appreciated the fact that he seemed to be comfortable enough with her to share that. “Not that I don’t believe you, but you know what happens if you lie —”

“Curses on me and my cow, yeah, I know. Don’t worry. I’d never do anything to hurt old Betsy.”

“Hey! Redheaded humanoid!” someone called out to Lily. “ You’re the RA, right? Do you know when we’ll be able to go back inside —”

“Nope!” she smiled with faux cheer and teleported with James into all the dorms to make sure they were all empty and to rouse some really heavy sleepers — masters and Ph.D. students on sleeping potions, mostly. 

When they’d materialized on the front lawn for the final time, Remus jogged up to them, as much as one could jog while shucking off a fire-proof suit. “We’re moving into Slytherin Hall until Beast Control gets here —”

“What? From  _ Romania _ ?” Lily looked at him incredulously. “That could take weeks!”

“Malfoy hates my guts!” James realized. “I’ll be lucky to still be alive —”

“You’re welcome to stay with the gnomes,” Remus shrugged wearily and teleported away. 

One of the gnomes kicked James’ ankle incessantly.

“Oh, sorry, old chap.” James stepped off the small red hat and dusted it off for the creature. 

“You know, Malfoy will probably just turn you into a vampire, like him.” Lily patted his shoulder. “No one ever joins his coven willingly, so turning people is his only source of conversion. You’ll live to get into Honours Transfig.”

James barked out a laugh and slung his arm around her shoulders. He planted a kiss on the top of her head. “You wouldn’t mind dating a bloodthirsty, bloodshot-eyed, pasty Englishman?”

“I read Professor Quirrel’s paper on the effects of v-peroxidase on melanin —”

“Oh, yeah, how is that poor guy, by the way?”

“Doing much better now, I hear. He didn’t actually get bitten by one of his lab rats. He just fainted. Anyway, yeah, you should be fine in the pasty-department anyway.”

“Good to know.”

Their friends — minus Remus, who still had that exam tomorrow — were waiting for them in front of Slytherin Hall. Despite their earlier conversation, Lily raised her arms in a stretch, which also served to release her from James’ hold. 

He looked at her like a sad puppy.

“I know, I know,” she sighed. “I’m just not in the mood for an interrogation tonight. We’ll tell them first thing tomorrow. Promise.”

**Bonus scene:**

"You ready?" asked Lily.

"I cast a purifying spell on the dining hall chicken nuggets and they just straight-up vaporized into dust, so, no." James peered into the microwave like said chicken nuggets might be clinging to the walls and hiding from him — anything was possible in this magical world.

“Just cast a  _ Reverso _ on it and be done with it!”

“Ugh,  _ Reverso’d _ food never tastes the same.” James made a face but did it anyway. 

Then they went to meet their friends in one of the common areas in Slytherin Hall. 

Lily cleared her throat. “We have an important announcement to make.”

“You’re dating,” deadpanned Mary. 

“I can’t believe you’re training to be a fairy godmother,” said Marlene. “This was an important  _ moment _ for them! You should’ve let them —”

“Isn’t the point to know everything about your chosen godchild —”

“And there it is, bending the rules to suit her purposes.” Dorcas nodded sagely. “Such a fairy godmother thing to do,” Marlene agreed. “Anyway, congratulations, you two, truly. It was painful watching you both ‘sneak around’ and pine from a distance.”

“Here, here!” Sirius raised his coffee to them. “To the happy couple.”

“Thanks, guys.” James scratched the back of his neck.

At the same time, Lily mumbled, “We’re not getting married or anything.”

“Not yet anyway,” he smirked.

She threw one of his chicken nuggets at him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request [a prompt](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/post/627646232626610176/things-overheard-on-a-magical-college-campus) for the next part? Should there be a next part? Should I make this its own multichap? Let me know in the comments or on Tumblr [@littlejeanniebean](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/)!


	42. American Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my Tumblr anon who asked for this and introduced me to my new favorite song xx

Lily was as hot-headed as she looked. That is, she was a girl with flaming, copper-red hair and startlingly bright eyes, green like American money. That was what her boyfriend always said anyway. 

_ Ex _ -boyfriend now, she supposed. 

He hadn't had the means any more than she did, but he had a car at least, and it was their one-year anniversary, so they decided to quit their dead-end lab technician jobs and go on a road trip across America. 

They didn't make it ten miles out of L.A. before they started arguing over control over the radio, which led to arguing over music taste in general, which led to him taking a wrong turn, which neither of them realized until later. 

Now in a completely different state from the one with the motel they'd booked, her boyfriend -- her  _ ex _ \-- managed to "pull some strings" to get them a booking at the nearest Four Seasons. Those strings were his parents' contacts because he was apparently, stinking rich and almost straight-up  _ lied _ to her a couple of times to cover up the fact. This led to Lily, hot-headed as ever, getting out of the car, screaming about how she never wanted to go on this trip with him in the first place.

He'd driven away in a squeal of tires and spray of dust, yelling expletives at the stupid car with it's stupid tricked out hood because it had used to belong to his stupid best friend. 

So now it was just Lily. In the middle of the desert. With her heart thudding in her ears like a thunderstorm from their argument.

He had the dumbest ideas sometimes, her boyfriend -- her  _ ex _ . Like taking her out on his best friend's motorbike. His best friend was something of an enthusiast when it came to vehicles. He kept singing 'Motorcycle Man' like an anthem. He was so dumb. 

But he knew what she liked. He knew how badly she wanted to get away from L.A. and the tiny apartment she was forced to share with her sister, Petunia, who was trying to make it as an actress or a model, whatever her agent, Dursley, could get her, although Lily was almost certain that Dursley was just hoping he could get Petunia. 

Lily was hot-headed, sure, but she did not run away from her problems. She just knew there was more out there for her if she dared to take it. He knew that too, her boyfriend -- her  _ ex _ , dammit -- and he ran head-long into trouble for it, for her, for them, every damn time.

A bright yellow Mini Cooper with a black and white checkered hood pulled up. A man with a mess of dark hair and mischievous hazel eyes behind round glasses leaned out the window at her.

"Do you need a ride, Miss?" his accent was English like hers.

"Do you make it a habit of picking up women stranded at rest stops in the middle of the desert?"

"No, but it's always a pleasure to be of service." He tipped an imaginary hat. "I'm James."

She let out a slow sigh through her nostrils. This was what they did every time they fought. They were both too proud to say, 'I'm sorry,' but they both knew deep down that they belonged to each other for the rest of their lives. "I'm Lily."


	43. Cut Me With Those Nails Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from YouBlitheringIdiot: Did I say that out loud?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting all my 12daystochristmas writing fest content en masse! (originally posted [my Tumblr](https://littlejeanniebean.tumblr.com/)) Enjoy!

“Cut me with those nails, baby,” James let out a strangled sigh. 

Suddenly, the girl with the nails in question turned to look at him. 

He straightened up. “Did I say that out loud?” 

“What?” The girl furrowed her dark red brows. 

“Nothing, nothing.” James pointedly looked back down at his NEWT revisions. 

The thing was, the girl — Lily was her name — _had_ heard him. She looked down at her roommate, Marlene’s handiwork. Last night, she’d done Lily’s nails in bright pink and orange. Mischievously, Lily spent the rest of their study period reaching across to his side of the table to ask Remus for a spare quill because, ugh, the tip broke _again,_ you’d think she’d’ve mastered the technique after seven years, ha-ha. 

James wasn’t finding it very funny. Her nails were filed to fine, claw-like points, perfect for sinking into his arms, his shoulders, his back, his thighs…

_Rat-tat-tat-tat._

And now she was tapping her fingertips against the varnished wood. 

_Rat-tat-tat-tat._

He glared at her petite hand. 

_Rat-tat-tat-tat._

Lily blinked at him innocently when she just _happened_ to notice him staring. “Sorry, is that bothering you?” 

“A mite,” he grunted and discreetly adjusted his slacks under the table. 

Suddenly, Lily got up and stretched, her blouse untucking from her skirt and riding up her side. 

“Bathroom break,” she declared to no one in particular, although James would swear by his mother’s finest china that her bright green eyes had alighted on _him_ for the briefest of moments. 

Then she _walked_ , actually _walked_ her fingers with their gorgeously painted, pointed nails across the table to his parchment, and _torturously_ made their way to number seven of his worksheet. “That’s wrong.” 

And _then_ she sashayed away. James counted to ten before making up some excuse about forgetting his Astronomy notes in the dorm. He belatedly realized he wasn’t taking Astronomy at the NEWT level, but none of his study-buddies (just Remus and Peter, because Sirius couldn’t be bothered on such a sunny day) seemed to notice and he didn’t want to call any attention to it by correcting himself. 

He followed Lily’s footsteps on the map straight into the little-used broom cupboard just outside Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.

“Potter,” her voice seemed to consume him in the dark. 

“Evans.” He couldn’t see her yet, but he could _feel_ those nails — _her_ nails — tracing up his arm where he’d rolled up his sleeves, down the side of his cheek, under his jaw, over his Adam’s apple as he swallowed thickly, suppressing a low moan.

“What was that?” Lily hummed, undoing the buttons of his shirt.

Apparently, he wasn’t suppressing himself very well at all today.

“What did you say you wanted me to do... _baby?_ ” She nipped at his ear while her nails sunk into his chest, pushing him up against the wall. 

“C-cut me with your nails.” He pressed a heated kiss into her neck, his hands holding her hips in a vice grip.

Lily dug her nails underneath the waistband of his pants. “That’s what I thought you said.” 


	44. Aaaand Action!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “you’re my best friends sister, we can’t do this” or “I’m tired of being your dirty little secret” but like with a happy ending
> 
> (I still haven't learned the proper meaning of "or" apparently :P)

Lily was going to _strangle_ whoever thought it would be a good idea to put Mary _and_ Sirius in charge of a school club. She couldn’t strangle Mary herself, because they were best friends and best friends get a free pass on shenanigans of this caliber. Sirius got a pass because he was the boyfriend of the best friend. 

“Aaaand...” Sirius paused for effect. “ _Action!_ ” 

Lily turned to James, her partner for the improv exercise. 

He moved towards her hesitantly but then turned the other way. “You’re my best friend’s sister.” He tugged on his wild dark locks dramatically. “We can’t do this!”

Lily chased after him. “Well, I’m tired of being your dirty little secret!”

“ _Cut!_ ” Sirius interrupted. 

“I thought it was good,” Peter piped up. Peter was their sole audience member. It was a small club. 

“There’s no setup! No tension!” Sirius shook his fist in the air. “If those are going to be your opening lines, you need to open with a big, searing _kiss!_ ”

Mary facepalmed herself. Sirius had a way of scaring away the very thing he was trying to attract. 

James looked at Lily, opened his arms, and made exaggerated smooching noises. 

“I thought this was an improv session,” Lily interrupted, trying not to laugh.

“And now we’re refining the improv.” Mary reminded herself that she and Sirius needed to put up a united front against the two oblivious idiots. She knew her best friend like the back of her own hand and the moment Lily sensed weakness, she would exploit it. “Let’s go, kiddies.”

“You want tension and setup?” Lily asked, pointedly leaving out any mention of kissing. “Fine. We can do that. Can’t we, James?”

“Right-o,” he said and schooled his expression into one of brooding handsomeness, modeled off of Sirius. “Lily, I love you and I know you love me, but you’re my best friend’s sister! We can’t —”

“ _Cut_!” Sirius interrupted. 

“What now?” Peter whined. He was just getting into it. And he’d need a popcorn refill within the next ten minutes at this rate.

“It’s a _cheap_ set up,” explained Mary. 

“Thank you, darling.” Sirius kissed her knuckles with a loud smack. “It’s a _cheap_ set up. You say you love her, you say she loves you, but we don’t _see_ it!” 

Mary nodded. “You need to show us! You need to —”

“Okay, fine!” Lily grabbed James’ hand and pulled him close to caress his cheek. 

Automatically, James leaned into her touch and wrapped one arm around her waist. 

She tilted her head up slightly, eyelids fluttering shut. 

James leaned down close enough that she could feel his eyelashes on her cheek. 

Their noses touched.

Sirius and Mary were holding each other’s hands so tight they were losing circulation. 

Peter forgot all about his popcorn. 

And then James suddenly recoiled, saying, “You’re my best friend’s sister! We can’t do this!”

Mary and Sirius groaned inwardly.


	45. Quidditch Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “Christ, can you put some clothes on?”

“Christ, can you put some clothes on?” Lily always used Muggle turns of phrase when she was most annoyed. 

James opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius beat him to it. 

“What?” Sirius looked up ‘innocently.’ “It’s shirts versus skins, Evans, unless _you’d_ prefer to play skins —”

She hit him over the head with the end of her broom, muttering a swift and pointed, “No, thank you.”

Lily didn’t want to play Quidditch, not really, but from the moment McGonagall saw the way she played Seeker in a skirmish in the First Year flying lessons, she’d had her eye on her. By the Second Year, Lily spent the allowance she’d saved up to buy her own broom because having her own broom meant freedom until she could learn to apparate in the Seventh Year. 

By the Third Year, she’d grown fed up with the all-male Quidditch team Gryffindor had and tried out with Marlene. Lily was offered the position of Seeker and immediately turned it down. She had proven her point and she didn’t actually want to play. Then Black had called her too chicken to play a real game, and, well, it escalated from there. 

Now, she was in her Fifth Year and they’d won the cup two years running. The core team was training with the reserves for the first match of the year against Slytherin. 

Lily really wished they’d put some damn clothes on. She was a _Seeker_ , which meant she had to _watch_ the pitch. It had never been a problem before, but James had come back from his summer in Italy with more than a tan. He’d come back _aggravatingly_ fit. No fifteen-year-old should be allowed to have arms or abs like that. Most fifteen-year-olds followed this rule. Of course, James was a Marauder, and that meant he broke all the rules. (Sirius was fit too, possibly more than James, but unlike most girls at Hogwarts, Lily couldn’t _imagine_ being attracted to Sirius with the way he spoke to her.)

“Evans! Brown!” yelled their captain, O’Malley. “I swear I saw the snitch fly past us at least twice since we started!”

Lily grimaced and tried to focus, but it was no use. After O’Malley called her out, James actually turned to _look_ at her every so often with those big hazel eyes of his. He shot her an encouraging smile four times. Her stomach felt like she’d just done a Wronski feint. 

In the end, Brown, who was playing skins with James, Sirius, and O’Malley, caught the snitch. The worst part was, he wasn’t even _that_ good. 

“Alright, Evans?” James watched her studiously as they dismounted. He was still shirtless and now they were close enough that Lily could see the beads of sweat traveling from his brow, down his jaw, to his collarbones and _lower_ …

“Fine,” she grumbled, turning away, her cheeks going red to match her hair.

Before the next practice match later in the day, James put on a plain white t-shirt because the air was getting nippy, and miraculously, Lily caught the snitch five minutes in. 


	46. Quidditch Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: "make me"

Lily dumped her broom on the floor of the locker room. It could be repaired, but repairs would cost more than a new broom and she had the money for neither. 

James ran off the pitch after her, coming to a stop about six feet away. 

Lily knew he was there, but didn’t acknowledge him. She just kept pacing back and forth.

James took a deep breath. “Alright, Ev—”

“You can’t keep _doing_ things like that!” She advanced on him.

“ _You_ almost died!” he yelled back reflexively. 

“I _had_ it under control!” 

James’ pretty face contorted as his voice dripped with sarcasm. “Oh, yeah, you were just freefalling of your own free will —”

“We’ve _never_ lost so _horribly_ in the _very_ first match and it’s _all_ your —”

“You don’t even _like_ Quidditch!” He pointed at her accusingly. 

“ _Don’t_ act like you know me!”

“I’m not acting! You _literally_ show up to every practice like you’d rather be anywhere —”

“Well, looks can be deceiving, _can’t_ they?” She shook her head vehemently. “You _should’ve_ kept your hand on the quaffle! We might’ve —”

“We were _seventy_ points down!” James waved his arms around in frustration. “ _Nothing_ I did as a chaser would’ve made a difference!” 

“Would you just _promise_ to keep your head in the game next time?” 

James crossed his arms. “No.”

“ _No?_ ”

“No.” James shrugged. 

Lily stood on her tiptoes so she could properly get in his face about it. “Let me fight my own fights, _Potter_.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and pushed his glasses further up his long nose. “ _Make me._ ” 

She shoved him down on the bench and stood over him. 

James’ pupils dilated as he swallowed thickly. 

“Much better.” Lily dropped down from her tiptoes onto the soles of her feet. “You were too tall for me to reprimand you properly —”

James let out a light chuckle. “Are you sure you don’t want to leave that to the captain because I’m pretty sure he has a few choice words for me —”

“No, this is between you and me —”

“Actually —” He looked down at the barely-there space between them. “— there’s hardly anything between us, so if you surrender —”

“ _Surrender?_ ”

He nodded like he hadn’t just said something she found totally incredulous. “Surrender to the fact that I’m always going to look out for my teammates and they are always going to take priority over a silly game.”

Lily felt her heart skip a beat and chided herself for it. What he said wasn’t even remotely romantic. “Never thought I’d hear you describe Quidditch that way.” 

“Don’t tell Sirius.” James leaned in even closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. 

Lily felt a shiver run down her spine. “Your secret’s safe with me _if_ —”

“No.”

“ _If_ you swear you’ll let me catch myself the next time I fall.”

James sighed and stood. His collarbones were at eye-level to her. “Don’t make me a liar, Evans.” 

Lily blushed. “ _Ugh_ , whatever.” That comeback didn’t even make any sense. She was losing her edge. She had to get away from him and his intoxicating post-Quidditch musk. “To be continued,” she mumbled and hit the showers. 


	47. Quidditch Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “i’m a big girl i can handle myself” for jily- bonus point if james and lily are both on the quidditch team (chaser + seeker)

"... and I'm a big girl, I can handle myself!" Lily continued her conversation (read: argument) with James in the common room. 

James let out a long sigh and stretched out on the couch, his t-shirt riding up to expose his hips. She would never forgive him for favoring low-riding joggers. 

"Well?" she prompted him, shifting in her seat and adjusting her oversized Quidditch jumper on her shoulders.

"Was that _all_ you had left to get off your chest?" he could barely keep the sarcasm out of his voice. 

Lily frowned. “If you wanted this to be quick, you could just stop _ignoring_ and _invalidating_ —”

“I’m _not_ —”

"You are _too!_ If I were Sirius, you'd be laughing about the match now with your mates —"

"If it were Sirius, I would've hexed him so that he'd think twice before putting himself in that situation again!"

"Is that right?" Lily jumped up, wand in hand. "You wanna go, _Potter?_ Let's go!"

James bit his tongue before he said something hasty. Things always escalated quickly with Lily. “I’m not going to fight you when all I wanted to do was protect —”

“And you’re _still_ not listening! I’ve been telling you this whole time: I. Don’t. Need. Protection — _Don’t!_ ” She pointed her wand at Sirius, who was grinning like a cat eyeing a cornered mouse. An innuendo was surely about to fall from his parted lips. “You say _anything_ , I’ll turn your tongue to lead for a week!” 

Sirius closed his jaw slowly and turned back to his chess game with Remus. 

While Lily had turned around, James fished something small, round, and gold out of his pocket. He held it out to her in his open palm.

She caught the Snitch easily. “What’s this?”

“It’s from the game.”

“But Slytherin —”

“Yeah, I nicked it.” He shrugged. “Peace offering?” 

Lily considered the golden ball in her hand, her green eyes shining like she was looking at the actual Quidditch House Cup. 

“I _know_ you’re more than capable, Evans,” James went on. “But we are always, always, better as a team, wouldn’t you agree?” 

His hazel eyes looked so sincere and imploring in the light of the fire. And he was holding her other hand now, firmly, with his thumb caressing her knuckles just slightly, but he was a very affectionate friend in general. It was nothing. 

Lily cleared her throat. “Thanks for the Snitch, Potter.” She sent it flying back to him. “But I want to get it myself. Next match. You’d better get that back to Slytherin dorms before they declare an all-out war.”

James pocketed the Snitch once more, a relenting smile gracing his handsome features. “As you wish.”

“ _Potter!_ ” O’Malley barged in. (He was back from trying to drown himself in the showers, apparently.) “The next time I tell you to keep on towards the goalposts, you’d _better_ listen or I swear to _Merlin_ I’ll kick you down to reserves!” 

“Who will he bring in to replace you?” Lily snorted at their captain’s empty threat. “ _Bealey?_ ”

James pursed his lips and choked, trying to hold in his laughter. To O’Malley, he said, “Yes, sir.”

**Fanart by Mickisketch! <3**


	48. Quidditch Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from pianistbynight: “so, are you guys dating or?”

Just then, O’Malley noticed their clasped hands. “So, are you guys dating or…?” 

James looked down at the same time Lily did. They were still standing so close, their foreheads almost collided. “Sorry, you can have your hand back —”

“I don’t need it — I mean, I do, but it’s not like I was using it at the moment.” Oh, gods, she really was losing her edge. 

And they still hadn’t stopped holding hands. 

“I’ll... leave you guys to work it out.” O’Malley awkwardly sidestepped his way to the stairs leading up to the boys’ dorms.

Lily was suddenly very self-conscious of her sweaty palm pressing against James’ warm palm, mildly callused from handling the leather Quaffle. 

“So…” she said. “We’re not dating…”

“No…” said James. “We’re not…”

“Why are you guys trailing off like you’re waiting for the other to finish the sentence?” asked Marlene loudly, looking up from an old copy of Witch Weekly. (She was always really easily irked after losing a Quidditch match.)

Lily looked up at James, her peridot eyes bright. “Did you want to finish my —”

“— sandwich?” he finished, an impish grin stretching across his very kissable cheeks. 

Lily laughed from deep in her belly.

James’ hand that wasn’t holding hers went into his jet black hair, which was, as always, sticking up all over the place. “I mean… I feel like…”

“We’re…” Lily licked her lips. “We’re good friends, aren’t we, James?” 

“Great friends! I mean, we bicker all the time —”

“— but that’s just —”

“— our thing,” James finished.

“Exactly.” 

“So…” he ventured. “Do you… want to…”

Now that he was on the verge of asking — asking her out, specifically — Lily wanted to backtrack and fast. “I mean it doesn’t really fit my aesthetic and it’s only going to make you throw games like this even more —”

“I’ll make you a deal,” said James immediately, almost like he’d been expecting her to get cold feet despite the fact that she was literally draped in Gryffindor red and gold. 

“I’m listening.” It came out softer than she would’ve liked. She felt exposed in the common room now, certain that everyone was watching them, even though they appeared to be engrossed in their own activities. 

“Teammates first. Friends second. Partners third.” James counted off on his long, sculpted fingers. “How about it, Evans? Next Hogsmeade weekend? You and me, we go get your broom repaired —”

“Okay, first off —”

“I know it would be cheaper to just buy a new one, but the newer models are actually —”

“Well, unlike you, some of us actually need to work for money —”

“Well, I wasn’t going to make you pay for it, it is a date after all.”

“And if I say ‘no?’” Lily challenged.

James had to hand it to her and her standards. He loved her, to be sure, but why was she like this? “No?”

“No,” Lily confirmed, practically pressing herself up against him.

“Then…” James’ voice cracked slightly and he cleared his throat. “I’ll just have to…” He could smell the mint in her breath, coming in delicate puffs of air. “... find a way…” He could probably count the lashes on her eyelids if he wanted at this point. “... to convince you.”

Her lips crashed into his while her free hand slipped around his waist. The other was still holding his, giving it a gentle squeeze. 


	49. Quidditch Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: "is that my shirt?"

Lily wanted to murder her boyfriend (but she couldn't because then she'd miss him or something sappy like that, which was the most aggravating part). 

They were playing shirts versus skins again in preparation for the match against Hufflepuff. They all needed to be playing their very best to get back in the running for the Inter-house Quidditch Cup and James was _deliberately_ messing with her by _volunteering_ for the skins team. Again. 

It was _especially_ bad because, as a chaser, he was in his _finest, fittest_ form. His white jodhpurs were tight around his thighs (and barely left anything _else_ to the imagination). 

"Step on me with those leather boots, baby," she whined from high above the pitch where no one could hear how pathetic she was for him.

The rest of James' body was undeniably _glistening_ as he sweats it out in the midday sun. She could watch his biceps clench and release all day as he expertly maneuvered his broom to and fro. 

Lily let out a frustrated sigh, but it ended up coming out as more of a moan. 

Brown caught the damned Snitch. Twice.

It was only a mild blow to Lily's ego, though. Because she knew if things had been _fair_ , she would've bested him.

"Merlin's beard, Evans!" O'Malley tsked. "When I said it'll mostly depend on us chasers to win, I didn't mean for you to completely let go!"

"Sorry," Lily grunted, but she wasn't looking at him so much as just over his shoulder.

James' already messy black hair was even wilder when he dismounted behind O'Malley. "Alright, Evans?"

"Peachy." She grinned, running a hand up the front of his chest unabashedly and taking no small amount of glee at the way his muscles tensed under her touch. Maybe murder wasn't on the table, but with a deft flick of her wand behind her back, Lily vanished James' t-shirt to a very specific place. If he didn't want to wear it, he wasn't going to get to.

He couldn't find it in the stands or in the locker room and _really_ wished Flitwick would teach them summoning charms already.

"Oi!" Marlene pointed at the flagpole atop one of the viewing towers surrounding the stands. "Is that…"

"Is that my _shirt?_ " James squinted skyward, as did the rest of the team.

Lily couldn't hold in her laughter any longer. 

Sirius even clapped her in the back like she was one of his mates and told her, "Good show, Evans! _Bloody_ good show!" 

James took off on his broom again to get his shirt back and Lily wolf-whistled after him.

"Leave it up there, Potter!" She wiggled her eyebrows when he turned around to face her. "You look fit without it!" 

James felt his cheeks heat up as he locked his ankles underneath his broom and cupped his hands around his mouth to yell back down to her, "Yeah? And what are you going to do about it?"

Lily smirked. "Get back down here and find out!" 

James' t-shirt stayed on the flag pole. 


	50. Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “you come to my room at 4am, to cuddle?” for Scorbus
> 
> (I made it a muggle AU)

The thing about being the only son of a very rich man was that even in boarding school, you got to have your own room. Scorpius had loved it at first. No roommates who might snore or talk or walk in their sleep, who might be incredibly messy or annoying. He liked to keep to himself most of the time, but then he met Albus. 

Albus lived in the room beside his. He was also the son of a very rich man, but not the only child. He had an older brother (on the football team) and a younger sister (on the girls' rugby team). He was very warm and generous with his money, not because he was rich or didn't know the value of it, but because it was simply in his nature. 

They became close friends and eventually, more. 

It was their graduating year and final exams were looming. They were studying until late because Al tended to do everything at the last minute and despite Scorp's own best intentions, Al could be… _distracting_ when he wanted to be. 

When it was determined that no more studying would be done that night, Scorp, the responsible one, in case you couldn't tell, went back to his own room. 

And immediately regretted it.

It was cold and lonely and he had a perfectly good boyfriend next door and what were their teachers going to do this close to the end of the year, give them detention? (They'd had their fair share of those throughout the years. It was usually Al's fault, but there is the argument that the one who falls in love — ahem, that is, who _follows_ the idiot is the bigger idiot.)

Still, Scorp tried to fall asleep on his own. Two hours later, he gave up and let himself back into Al's room.

"Al. Al. Albus. Albus Severus Potter!" he hissed at steadily increasing volumes.

"Wha?" Al blinked and slapped his hand on his nightstand to wake up his shapely lamp. Fancy bastard. Not even Scorp had that one. 

"Move over," said Scorp.

"It's my bed."

"Never said it wasn't."

"What time is it?" 

"4 a.m."

Al rubbed his eyes and rolled over with all the coordination of someone who was not very coordinated when they were fully awake, much less when they were half-asleep. He slapped his hand down on his nightstand again to turn off the light.

Scorp tucked himself in and nuzzled his face into Al's shoulder.

"You come to my room…" Al grunted. "At 4 a.m." He sighed. "To _cuddle_."

"Goodnight." Scorp decided that this was the only safe answer.

"Yeah, yeah, wha'evuh." If Al had been more awake, he would've rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. "You coulda decided to come back soonuh. 'Stead of wakin' me up at 4 in the _bloody_ a.m."

"We should move in together to keep that from happening in the future."

Al's eyes flew open and he turned to look at Scorp to make sure wasn't joking or being sarcastic (he wasn't). "Okay. But I get to pick the neighborhood. We're not living all the way out in Wiltshire or Cheshire or any other bloody -shire."

"Deal." 


	51. Ties and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Chierafied: “all these new feelings are scaring me” for Jily

The morning had started out simple enough: pack a bag of last night’s last-minute homework, check on Sirius via the mirror to make sure he hadn’t done anything stupid before breakfast, make sure he was wearing enough of his uniform himself in order to be considered a respectable Head Boy, wish Lily a good morning and tell her he loved her — _Wait a damn minute!_

Lily, who was all dressed except for her red and gold Gryffindor tie, spat out her water, spluttering, “ _What_ did you say?” 

“Uh…” He decided to take a chance and act like he didn’t say what he very much just did. “Good morning?”

Lily’s sharp green eyes narrowed like the point of a dagger. “Don’t make me set your pants on fire.” 

“Sorry!” His hand jumped into his messy dark hair (fixing it was no longer part of his morning routine since he’d given up on it in his Fourth Year). “I just… I mean, we’ve had a great six months, no? And we’ve been friends for even longer… How could I _not_ love you?”

“I just — _ugh_ —” Lily paused to try to untangle her tie before it strangled her. “All these new feelings are scaring me, you know? We’re only seventeen. We don’t know anything, so how can we say that — _Oh_ , for the love of _cherubs!_ ” Lily yanked her tie up over her head and fired off an angry untangling spell that set it straighter than a broomstick. “How can we say that we _love_ each other?” She turned to her fellow Head Student, James Potter.

Their shared common room was smaller, James called it ‘cozier,’ than the one in Gryffindor Tower and it had done wonders for bringing them closer. Lily had always loathed admitting that she was scared of anything, and he was glad she was completely open to him now. And at this point in their relationship, James knew that she was madder at her tie than she was at him for telling her he loved her. 

“Because it’s true.” James took her tie from her and looped it around her neck. “And _not_ saying it wouldn’t make it any _less_ true.” He tucked the strip of red and cloth under the collar of her blouse. “Now, pay attention…” He held up both ends of her tie. “Under, over, up, down, tuck, tighten.”

Lily frowned at the perfect little knot at the base of her neck. “Can you do it again, but slower?” 

James undid the tie and turned her towards the mirror so she wasn’t going cross-eyed trying to look down. He stood behind her, his strong arms warm around her shoulders. 

“Under… over…” His spearmint toothpaste breath tickled by her ear. “Up… down…”

“Tuck, tighten,” she said with him. “I think I got it now, thanks.”

James grinned, fondly at first, but then it turned cheeky. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but how did you even _make_ it to Seventh Year?” 

Lily crossed her arms pointedly and mumbled, “Marley always did it for me.”

“Good ol’ Marley.” James chuckled, heading towards the door before they missed breakfast entirely.

“Hey,” Lily whispered and if she hadn’t grabbed his hand, he might not have heard what she said next. “I… love you… too.” 

Then she shot up to her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and bolted out the door, red in the face. 

James’ eyes widened in realization as the words finally sunk into his brain. “Evans! Hey, _Evans!_ ” He ran after her. A dopey smile threatened to split his face in half by the time he caught up to her and gave her a proper kiss in front of the entire Great Hall.


	52. Until the Very End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “i want you to fight for me!” for jily

Lily and James sat beside each other on the couch in their shared Head Students common room, their ankles nestled together while their parchments draped over the armrests and their books covered their laps. 

“Graduation’s coming up,” said Lily. 

“Mm-hmm,” said James, holding his quill between his teeth while capping his ink bottle. 

“I know you’re going to fight and that nothing I say or do will stop that…”

“Mm-hmm.” James set his parchment out to dry before stretching till his shoulders popped, his books sliding off to the floor. 

“But I won’t make you any more of a target than you would normally be, and normally —”

“I’m a blood traitor, Lily,” James looked down at her and in the low light of the fire appeared so much more a man than a boy. “My whole family —”

“It’s still a better status than a mudblood —”

“Please don’t call yourself —”

“It’s only a word —”

“You’re not endangering me —”

“I _am_ and you _know it_ too,” she said firmly.

He didn’t argue. He couldn’t. 

“Now,” Lily took a deep breath. “James, tomorrow, at breakfast… I’m going to break up with you —”

“Oh, come on,” James sighed tiredly. “Not this _again_ —”

“And you are going to make it clear that you hate my guts by graduation so that no one will ever suspect that —”

“If this were a ruse, I’d agree to it —”

“But it _can’t_ be, not if we’re joining the resistance together —”

“Of course, it can!” He rubbed his tired eyes under his glasses. “We’ll work on different missions. We’ll use different safe houses. But _I’ll_ know and _you’ll_ know and it will keep us _going_ —”

“And if I’m captured, they’ll find out about us and you _automatically_ become the next target out of spite and pride and —”

“If I give up on you, if I give up on us —” He gestured emphatically between them. “I don’t know what I’ll be fighting for anymore.”

Lily pursed her lips and shook her head. “You can’t ask me to put you in danger for — for _sentiment_ —”

“Yes, I can!” James cried, his voice breaking. “Because I love you and I will fight for you until the day I die and I want you to fight for me! Because I feel like I’ve been fighting for _you_ as long as I’ve known you and now that we _finally_ have something you… I feel like… maybe… you don’t… want it… anymore… as much as I do.” 

Lily gaped at him. “How can you say that? It’s _because_ I love you that I —”

“Yes, I _can_ say that too!” He was yelling at her with his full chest now. “You’re a _coward_ , Lily Evans!”

“And you’re an _idiot, James Fleamont Potter!_ Did it ever _occur_ to you to fight _smart_ instead of fighting so damn _hard?_ ”

James made a frustrated noise and waved his arms around as if to say, ‘What do you think I’ve been doing this whole time?’ He pinched the bridge of his nose and pushed his glasses further up his face. “Let’s say they win. Because we can do all the right things, but they’ve got more people on their side. So, let’s say they win and we’ve broken up. What do we have then? We lived alone and we died alone. And who’s to say how long this war will go on? It could be years we could’ve spent together —”

“Alright, alright, I get it.” Lily sagged in defeat. “But you have to promise me that if we’re dying, you’re not going before me.”

James smiled, taking her into his familiar embrace. “I promise you’ll be stuck with me until the very end.” 


	53. Making Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from pianistbynight: “is that my shirt?” for hinny

Harry was ecstatic when Ginny offered to help him move into Grimmauld Place. At first. But then she’d showed up in a crop-tank-top with her fiery red hair in a ponytail like she was about to kick some ass on the Quidditch pitch and he knew things were going to be… _harder_ than he anticipated. 

Her short-shorts and strappy sandals weren’t helping either. He should’ve decided to move in during the winter. 

“What is wizarding summer fashion like?” he asked her because he was a sucker for her in Muggle clothing and he felt bad because he knew she’d had to spend extra on it since all her clothes were otherwise magical. 

“You know those Muggle cooling contraptions?” She raised her wand arm to aim a spell at a cobweb, exposing the transfixing constellation of freckles going up the side of her abdomen, underneath her lacey bra (it was a very cute bluish, purplish color). 

“Uh…” Harry waited for his short-circuited brain to catch up to his mouth. “Refrigerators?”

“No, no, the ones with vents you stick in the windows.” Ginny wrinkled her nose to keep from sneezing at the dust she dislodged in getting rid of the cobweb. Her eyes scrunched shut just like they did when Harry peppered butterfly kisses all over her pretty face.

“Oh,” he said, finally, blinking himself out of another Ginny-induced stupor. “You mean, air conditioners.”

“Yeah, it’s like that, only wearable.” Ginny adjusted the strap of her tank top unnecessarily. “Why? Am I wearing this wrong?” 

“You couldn’t be wearing it more _right_.” Harry walked over to her immediately. The couch needed to be _Scourgified_ anyway and it was right behind her. “It’s become a bit of a problem, actually.”

“Oh?” Ginny wiggled her eyebrows playfully. “Any idea how to solve it?” 

Harry wordlessly cleaned the couch behind her and tackled her onto it. She shrieked a little and it was the loveliest sound. 

He ended up with his face against her stomach, hands on her hips, and her hands carding through his wild, dark locks. 

Ginny locked her strong, toned legs around his waist and flipped them over. 

“I love it when you do that,” Harry murmured and threw off that annoying little tank top, letting out a dramatic moan. “I want to paint these walls the color of your bra.” 

Ginny giggled and winked. “It’s called periwinkle.”

Suddenly, a shriek interrupted them. Kreacher smashed right into the side of the couch, a bit of cloth covering his face. 

“ _Why would master give Kreacher clothing? Master knows Kreacher wishes to remain in SERVITUDE. Master knows Kreacher wishes to DIE a TRUE elf!_ ”

“Is… that my shirt?” Ginny plucked the tank top off the poor, hysterical elf. “Yup, it’s mine, never fear, Kreacher. Harry didn’t give it to you, I did and I’m not your master.” 

Kreacher huffed and puffed, trying to catch his breath. “Kreacher will be… in the basement. Cleaning. And punishing himself for interrupting his master —”

“I order you not to punish yourself,” Harry contradicted him.

Kreacher snarled and tugged on one of his wrinkled, hairy ears in annoyance before disappearing with a pop.

“I _was_ the one who threw it, though,” Harry said to Ginny, gesturing at the tank top.

“I know that, and you know that, but if _he_ doesn’t want to know that, he doesn’t have to.” She grinned. “Now…” She slipped her fingers underneath the hem of Harry’s t-shirt, skimming the waistband of his jeans. “Where were we?” 


	54. Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “christ, put some clothes on!”

"Christ, put some clothes on," Ron muttered to his sister, who was wearing the slinkiest, silkiest black dress she could find in Muggle London. He was picking up all these wonderful Muggle expressions from Hermione lately. 

"Oh, Ron, _Ronnikins_ ," Ginny clicked her tongue, slipping on the straps of her stilettos. "My _darling_ brother, whom I love…"

Ron rolled his eyes from where he sat on the couch. "You could just say no. You don’t have to mock me."

"No," Ginny chirped, smiling as she flung open the door of their shared apartment in London. 

“Tell Harry I said hi!” he called after her. 

Ron had moved to be closer to work (he was an Auror) and had stubbornly refused Harry's offers to live for free at Grimmauld. 

Ginny had joined him to be closer to the Harpies training grounds (and Harry). Her favorite thing about London was that no one ever noticed a damn thing. She walked right into the middle of a bustling street and apparated to Grimmauld Place. The magical knocker recognized her immediately and let her in. 

Harry was in the kitchen. He was a brilliant cook, and this assessment coming from someone who had grown up on Molly Weasley’s meals was high praise.

"Hi," he said. Harry was never a boy (and now a man) of many words. And he was a sucker for his girlfriend in Muggle fashion.

"Hi," Ginny breathed, looking him up and down unabashedly.

His hypnotizing dress shirt was rolled up to his elbows and it fit him just right around the biceps. The frames of his glasses highlighted his defined cheekbones and his hands were warm against her bare skin when he kissed her. 

“Does this dress… _not_ have a back?” He moved his thumb up and down her spine. 

“And are _you_ wearing custom Madame Malkin’s?” Ginny traced a finger down the front of his enchanted dress shirt and watched the material turn temporarily transparent underneath her touch. 

Harry’s entire abdomen was on display from where she was pressed against him. “Heh, yeah… er, do you like it?”

She looked up at him from under her thick lashes, all prettied up with mascara. “What do _you_ think?”

Harry chuckled, his pupils blown. “Well, I’m glad you’re having fun. I feel like a stripper.”

Ginny raised her eyebrows, fiddling with the top button of his shirt, slipping it in and out of the hole. “Are you saying you _wouldn’t_ give your girlfriend a strip-tease if she asked you nicely?”

Harry pressed his lips together, which was never a good sign. It meant he was controlling himself. And Ginny _really_ wanted him to lose control tonight.

“Are the trousers —”

“Muggle.” Harry grinned at her cheekily. He could also be a tease when he wanted to. 

“Damn.” She watched him turn his attention back to the stove. “You should learn some cooking spells. Then dinner could take care of itself…” Her fingers carded through his untameable dark locks. “And _you_ could take care of _me_.”

Harry growled from the back of his throat. “Gin…”

It was a warning, but Ginny took it as an encouragement. “You know how skin-tight this dress is, don’t you?”

“ _Nngh_ …” 

“How _thin_ …” She whispered into the shell of his ear. “And _delicate_.” 

Harry felt his throat go dry. “I…”

“So, naturally, I’m not wearing anything under it.” Ginny glanced down. “And by the looks of it, _you’re_ not wearing anything under your clothes either.”

Harry let dinner burn for the first time since he was eight. Only this time, he had no regrets. 


	55. I Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from ConstanceZin: I had a wet dream with you and now i can't look at you in the eyes without blushing Jily!

“Lily...”

“Hmm,” she hummed right by his ear, the vibrations shooting straight through him. 

“ _Lily_...” he drew out the ‘y’ in her name this time, begging.

“If you want something baby boy, all you gotta do is ask…” she leaned back so he could see the flush of her cheeks, the thin rim of green around her blown pupils, and her deep red hair was a beautiful, fluffy mess, coming down around her bare shoulders.

James’ eyes wandered further down.

And then he woke up. 

Oh, this was going to go over well with the Head Girl/his new girlfriend whom he loved and didn’t want to completely scare off after years of, well, doing just that, apparently. 

He tried to get downstairs earlier than usual so he wouldn’t have to walk to the Great Hall with her, but then he’d chickened out because he didn’t want her to walk alone and think he was an inconsiderate boyfriend when he was trying to be the exact opposite.

“Good morning,” she chirped, slinging her book bag across her shoulders so the strap went right across her chest, accentuating the curves of her —

“Morning.” James was determined to keep his eyes on her face, but looking into her eyes just made his cheeks heat up. “Let’s break to go fast — Let’s go to breakfast.”

Lily hummed, smiling as she looped her arm through his. “Did you get enough sleep last night?”

James was sure she’d only meant it to sound teasing as far as his word-finding difficulties, but he couldn’t help but react to it as though it were something more. And James tended to react very _physically_ to his girlfriend. 

Luckily, if he shoved his hand into the pocket of his slacks, he could adjust it discreetly while walking. 

He barely ate anything at breakfast, so he could leave before Lily did. Then he made up some excuse in every single class they shared to sit with Sirius. (It was always some variant of ‘He’s going to hurt someone, most likely himself’ or ‘He’s been complaining that I’ve abandoned him.’) 

But he couldn’t avoid her when they both got back to the common room in the evening. 

“Are you avoiding me?” Lily asked him without preamble. 

Oh, yeah, James could see it all now, he’d say, “Yes.”

She’d say, “Why?”

He’d say, “I had a wet dream with you and now I can't look at you in the eyes without blushing.”

And she would be disgusted and break up with him and he would die alone. 

Lily bit her bottom lip. “Are you… mad at me?”

James didn’t trust himself to speak when her pretty pink lips were getting all cute and puffy from her ministrations. So he just shook his head aggressively and hoped she understood that he definitely was _not_ mad at her so much as mad _for_ her. 

“Then…” Lily’s eyes turned downcast. “Are you bored with me?”

James’ eyes widened in horror. “What? _No!_ I had a wet dream with you and now I can't... look at you... in the eyes... without blushing.” Oh, yeah, this was going to go over so well.

First, Lily’s eyes widened. The shock always took a moment to set in with her.

Then her cheeks turned bright red like her hair. The anger always came next.

And then she launched herself at him and kissed him fiercely, one hand tugging him down to her level by his tie and the other scrambling up the back of his sweater. 

Okay, this was new.

“Hmm,” she hummed into his mouth, the vibrations shooting straight through him. 

“ _Lily..._ ” he drew out the ‘y’ in her name this time, begging.

“If you want something baby, all you gotta do is ask…” she leaned back so he could see the flush of her cheeks and the thin rim of green around her blown pupils.

“I am,” he breathed, bringing her close again. “I want _you_.”


	56. Brothers in Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “don’t you dare tell me you love me!” for marauders brotp

“Mr. Potter,” Professor McGonagall intoned. 

James knew better than to pretend he hadn’t heard her, even amidst the throng of students excitedly leaving the Quidditch pitch. “Yes, Professor?”

“Mulciber’s broom was rather shoddy this match, was it not?” 

“Yes, I noticed,” he said. “It’s a shame, that.”

She looked at him over her rectangular spectacles. “Just after he attacked Ms. MacDonald too.”

“Justice’s sister Karma can be rather severe.”

McGonagall came towards him quickly, emerald green robes billowing. 

Instinctively, James backed up. 

“I, too, care about Ms. MacDonald deeply, Mr. Potter —”

“I know you do, Profes—”

“— but that was foolish, dangerous, and entirely ill-spirited —”

“I don’t know what you think I did, Professor, but I —”

“Would you really lie to my face, Mr. Potter?” 

“He’s not,” Sirius came up behind James, his handsome face was stony, vengeful. “I did it.”

“Mr. Black, no offense, but you know broom about as much as —”

“I did it, Professor,” Sirius repeated. “Now, if you’re going to expel me, go right ahead, but if not, hand me my detention slip, please.”

McGonagall exhaled slowly, nostrils flaring like a dragon. She tore off a slip of paper and thrust it at him before walking away quickly. 

James turned to Sirius, “You didn’t have to do that —”

“Of course, I did. She’s not wrong, Prongs. It _was_ foolish, dangerous, _and_ grounds for them to take your Head Boy badge!” Sirius shrugged. “Me on the other hand, they can’t hurt.”

James hugged him tightly. “I —”

“Don’t you dare tell me you love me!” Sirius shoved him away in frantic playfulness. “I didn’t sign up for any cheese today! If I’d wanted any, I’d be talking to Wormtail!”

James grinned. “Padfoot, my brother, whom I lo—”

“La-la-la-la —”

James jumped on him and put him in a headlock.

The boys tousled and laughed all the way to the castle.

“Hey,” said James. “Don’t tell Lily that was me, yeah? She would never —”

“Oh, she’d forgive you, but she’d hold it over your head like a guillotine for the rest of your life.”

“Thanks, this gives me so much hope for my future,” James deadpanned. “So you won’t tell her, right?”

“Won’t tell me what?” Lily was waiting for them at the bridge. 

“Nothing,” said the boys. 

Lily clucked her tongue and shook her head. “The correct answer was, ‘What makes you think we were talking about you?’”

James gulped. 

Sirius put on his most innocent expression. “Prongs was only defending a young lady’s honor.”

“Stupidly?” asked Lily.

Sirius nodded, looking appropriately regretful. “You know Mulciber’s Quidditch ban was lifted since they couldn’t prove anything?” 

Lily scowled. “It’s why I didn’t go to the match. Didn’t want to see his ugly mug.”

“Well, he might as well have been banned for all the good he was to the team today,” Sirius said casually. 

Lily raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued.

“Prongs, here, tweaked his broom a bit — the Slytherins will likely embellish the story, make it seem more severe than it was — but it was only enough to incapacitate him, wasn’t it, Prongs?”

James opened his mouth to agree, but if he wouldn’t lie to McGonagall, he wouldn’t lie to Lily. He hung his head. “Padfoot is just trying to be a good friend and cover for me. It was bad and it was stupid. I risked my badge for a chance to humiliate him. And the worse part is, it will probably only incite more real violence against us. I’m sorry, Lily, I think I just made our jobs a lot harder.”

“Well...” Lily had only gotten such a thorough, sincere apology from James once before, after that incident with Snape by the lake at the end of their fifth year. “Well, at least you understand the gravity of the situation. And I can’t say I would’ve done any differently if I’d been in your place, watching that bigot from the stands.” 

Then she turned on her heel and walked away. 

James gaped, turning to Sirius. “I —”

“If you say ‘I love you,’ I will hex you.”

“I can’t believe you made that happen.”

“It’s all in the setup.” Sirius shrugged.

“Also, I love you, brother,” James rushed out and took off running, dodging Sirius’ playful pink-hair hexes as he went. 


	57. Make Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from pianistbynight: “make me” for hinny

“I’m quitting the team.”

Harry looked up from his mission logs and pushed his glasses further up his nose. He was almost certain he had misheard her. “Sorry, what?”

“The Quidditch correspondent position just opened up at the Daily Prophet.” Ginny ambled over to him, sitting on the armrest of his chair. “And rather than read another half-arsed article written some bloke who’s never even played for his house team, I’ve applied and got the job.”

Harry raised a skeptical eyebrow. “May I ask… why?”

Ginny’s hands went to massage his shoulders. She loved how much strength training Aurors were required to do, even when they didn’t have as much fieldwork. “We both know we want a big family —”

Harry’s put one arm around her waist. “You _really_ want to pop them out one after the other —”

“Please don’t call it ‘popping them out’ like I’m a vending machine and you just put a few coins in —”

Harry bit his lip to keep from smiling. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean —”

“Besides, I _want_ to be home more —”

“I have tons of practice with Teddy,” he reasoned. “I’m more than capable —”

“Well, I can’t let you have _all_ the fun, now, can I?” Ginny smirked, but inwardly, she wondered why he was arguing so hard against it. 

“It’s _really_ no trouble, Gin —”

“Then why not let me do it too?” She stood suddenly, putting her hands on her hips.

“Because Quidditch is your _dream!_ ” Harry waved his arms around as if to demonstrate the size and importance of the said dream. “I don’t want you to give it up —”

“I’m _not_ , though.” _Oh, Harry_ , she thought. _Sweet, noble Harry_. “I’m just coming at it a different way, like you becoming head of the department so you can —”

“Well, I’m not the head yet —”

“It’s basically an eventuality,” she waved off the technicality. “Look, Harry, I’d be _just_ as happy here at home as I am on the pitch. I’m not giving anything up, and who knows? I might try out for the team again when we’ve decided we have enough little monsters running around and then _you’ll_ be the one who has to tote them to matches to support their mummy.”

Harry practically beamed at the thought and pulled her close again, burying his nose in the scent of her flowery shampoo and splaying butterfly kisses over her collarbone. Then suddenly, he started, his forehead almost colliding with her chin. “Wait, are you _pregnant?_ ”

“Oh, because that would be _so_ far-fetched now, wouldn’t it?” she made fun of his incredulity. “Because we _definitely_ haven’t been going at it like it’s our second honeymoon —”

“ _Are you?_ ” Harry was standing now, firm, callused hands on her shoulders, his face all serious hard lines, especially his sharp, defined jaw.

“No.” Ginny shrugged like she was answering a more casual question like, ‘Would you like some coffee, love?’ “Not yet, anyway…” She threaded her fingers up in his wild dark hair and kissed him deeply. “But I want you to _make me._ ” She took his bottom lip between her teeth as he moaned. “ _Now,_ ” she commanded. 

And who was he to refuse her?


	58. The Ten Duel Commandments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “pfft, i’m not jealous” for Jily

“ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ”

Lily went rigid and dropped to the ground to the cheers of the Gryffindor dueling club. James pried her wand out of her hand and claimed victory.

She glared at him stonily, even as he muttered the counter-curse. 

“Jealous?” He smirked at her, loosening his tie even further and unbuttoning his shirt. 

“Pfft, I’m not jealous.” Lily crossed her arms pointedly and stalked back to her end of the platform for round two. 

She’d almost had the upper hand when he adjusted his rolled-up sleeves, the muscles in his arm flexing visibly. 

James floored her again, this time with a jelly-legs jinx. Since they were dueling best of three, he’d already won. 

“Alright, Evans?” He extended a hand to her up. 

“Fine.” She stood without his help and hopped off the platform. 

He chased after her. “Are you _sure_ , you’re alright, Ev—”

“I said I’m fine, didn’t I?” she snapped.

“You’ve never dueled so badly —”

“ _Excuse you!_ ” she rounded on him and almost bumped smack into his chest. She looked up at him blushing fiercely. 

They were practically nose to nose. 

“Sorry,” whispered James, slightly short on breath himself. “I didn’t mean to insult you —”

“Well, you did.” Lily huffed, putting some space between them.

“Evans…” He smiled at her. “I never took you for a sore loser —”

“I am _not!_ ” Lily’s cheeks colored again, whether it was from his constant smiling or his accusation, she couldn’t be sure. “I just… I just have a lot going on at the moment!” 

At once, James turned serious (no pun intended). “Is Mulciber bothering you again? Or Sniv—Snape?”

Lily’s eyes widened. “N-no —”

“You can tell me if they are, I’ll —”

“No!” Lily panicked. When she’d said she’d had ‘a lot going on at the moment,’ she meant she had a lot going on regarding _James_. Her sort-of frenemy, rival, person-of-interest but not that way, Mary, for Godric’s sake! 

But then there was the way he _moved_ when he dueled, the way he brushed by her as they circled competitively that completely fried her neurons. She was either going to have to get with him or kill him to make it stop and one of those things would send her straight to Azkaban. 

“Then…” James pushed his stupidly cute old-fashioned round glasses further up his nose. “What is it?”

“I… need… stuff… from…” Lily forced herself to look into his hazel eyes (not her first mistake today). “Hogsmeade!” she finished. “Yeah, but, uh, I, uh, the girls are… well, they have dates and, I mean, Mulciber and company haven’t been a bother as of late, but two wands are better than one, so —”

“Evans…” There was a teasing, mischievous lilt to James’ voice. “Are you asking me to go to Hogsmeade with you?”

“No! You know what? Forget I said anything —”

“Because I’d love to, you _know_ I’d love to —”

“Yeah, and I _don’t_ think your head needs to get any bigger —”

“Oh, come off it, Evans, if you want me to be your date so you’re not the odd one out with the girls, just say so.”

“I just did!”

“And I just said I would! So, there!”

“I — Alright!” Lily didn’t know why it still sounded like they were fighting. 

“Brilliant. Now that we’ve got that sorted —” He grabbed her hand and she felt a pleasant little tingle go through her arm. “— I want a rematch so we’re dueling fair and square.” He shrugged his robe off his broad shoulders and rolled up his damn shirt sleeves again. 

“Fair and square, my arse,” Lily muttered but tied up her hair anyway. Louder, she said, “Alright, Potter. You wanna go? Let’s go.”


	59. Pleasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from pianistbynight: “have you lost your mind?” for hinny

“You know, the only thing I was ever the best at was the one thing no one else could do but me,” said Harry late one night.

“Have you lost your mind?” Ginny mumbled into his shoulder. “You’re good at so many things: dueling —”

“‘Mione’s better —”

“— Quidditch —”

“— _you’re_ better, and not that I’m complaining. I bloody _love_ that you’re —”

“Actually, who even _cares_ about being the best at stuff?” Ginny changed her tone entirely. “ _Nothing_ in the real world requires you to be even _good_ at stuff. Fred and George had the right idea back in school —”

“Fred and George were _brilliant_ —”

“— just do the bare minimum and have a blooming good time!” she finished, wide awake now, despite it being 2 a.m. “And I mean, you deserve it after all the shit you had to shovel —”

“Gin, I couldn’t pass my silent apparition test and they gave me more tries than they would’ve given _anyone else._ It’s not fair —”

“Your wife is a happier wife for you not being on the Black Ops team,” Ginny snuggled in closer, her newly short hair tickling just under his nose. 

“Well, I can’t be pushing paper all my life —”

“Yeah, I agree, that is probably the one thing you’re _not_ good at —”

“— but I feel like a hypocrite tagging along on raids just to say, ‘ _This is Auror Potter! You’re surrounded! Come out with_ —’ and then they just come out before I can even finish because they’re too damn scared of my _name_ —”

“Oh, come on, it’s funny, you have to admit —”

“I mean, sure, the first few times, but then it just gets —”

“Ironic?”

“You mean considering what Voldemort was like, yeah.”

She looked up at him seriously, her eyes now fully adjusted to the dark. “You _are_ a good Auror, Harry. More importantly, you’re a good man. Some of them are so used to being the hunters, they don’t know what it’s like to be hunted. You do. They might get to don those fancy black stealth cloaks, but _you_ contribute to mission intelligence, _you_ make sure the innocent don’t get dragged through the mire for some shot at the glory of catching a — what’s the Muggle term, a big fish? _And_ — and this is the best part, really, if we’re being totally honest with ourselves, so pay attention —” Ginny moved so she was straddling him. 

Harry sat up a bit so he was leaning against the headboard. “I’m listening.” 

“You get to come home —” She took off her shirt. “— to your beautiful —” She took off her bra. “— incredibly fit —” She took off her knickers. “— wife.”

Harry’s jaw had gone slack while his hands seemed to develop minds of their own. 

“And there’s one more thing that you’re still —” Ginny leaned in to nip his ear. “— _undeniably_ the best at, Mr. Potter…”

Harry cleared his throat, but his voice came out gruff anyway. “What’s that, Mrs. Potter?” 

“Being a _very_ —” She took off his shirt. “— _pleasing_ —” She took off his joggers. “— _husband_ ,” she practically purred.

Harry had not lost his mind yet, but he was more than ready to.


	60. Don't You Forget About Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: “sorry, have we met?” and “you’re so clingy, i love it” together for Jily

“Oh my god!” Lily threw her arms around him. “You had me worried _sick! Don’t_ do that again, James! I can’t lose you to a stupid _bludger_ of all things!”

James patted her back awkwardly and when she sat back, he got a good look at her face, watery green eyes, pouty pink lips, and deep red hair. She was beautiful. One of his hands nervously ran through his hair. “Sorry… have we met?” 

Lily’s mouth dropped open into a small ‘o.’ “ _Pomfrey!_ ” she practically shrieked. “Sirius! Remus! Peter! Get in here!” 

The boys arrived first, long-haired Sirius with a little black star drawn in permanent marker on his left cheekbone, Remus with his Gryffindor sweater and scarf he looked like a red and gold mascot, and Peter with cookies. 

“Here you go, Prongs.” He put the platter on the nightstand for him. “Sorry about the game, mate. You gave ‘em a good run —”

“Wait, I thought my name was James?” He frowned deeply. “I like ‘James’ much better than — than —”

“Prongs!” Sirius beamed, seemingly unperturbed by his best friend’s complete lack of memory. “That’s not your call to make, I’m afraid. You’ll always be ‘Prongsie’ to us.”

“What’s all the ruckus?” Pomfrey pushed the curtain aside. “O’Malley needs his rest if he’s going to grow his bones back —”

“I think James has lost his memory.” Lily worried her bottom lip between her teeth, looking at him sorrowfully. He thought she looked adorable. 

“Right.” Pomfrey tapped her wand on the crown of his head three times. “Tell me, what’s the last thing you can remember?”

“Er… getting my Hogwarts letter? I think? But that can’t be right, because my hands were not this big when I was eleven… How old am I?”

“Sixteen,” said Lily. She smiled shyly at James. “Almost seventeen.” 

A scroll was unraveling across the floor with Madame Pomfrey’s readings of James’ brain. She picked it up and excused herself to examine it. 

James felt his cheeks heat up as he smiled at Lily, who was still looking at him earnestly. “So… are you… Are you my… girlfriend?” 

Sirius, for some reason, started laughing. 

Remus’ lips were pursed, which meant he was containing laughter too. Peter just looked on with wide eyes, eating one of James’ get-well-soon cookies. 

“I… I don’t know if I should tell you that.” Lily’s cheeks were tinged pink. “You might want to try to get your memories back on your own.”

James perked up. “So… like… we should kiss or something? To see if I remember anything?” 

This sent the boys into even further hysterics. 

Lily buried her face in her hands, peeking out at him between her long, narrow fingers. She was _adorable_. “I… I mean… if you want? I don’t want to take advantage of you in a vulnerable state —” 

“I mean, if we’re not dating and I’ve never asked you out, I’m an idiot.” James shrugged. “You _clearly_ care about me _and_ you’re beautiful to boot!”

Lily couldn’t meet his eyes, but she did kiss him, just a light peck on the lips. “Anything?”

“Mm…” James hummed, his eyes still closed behind his spectacles. “Not yet… Might have to do it again, just to make sure…” 

Lily kissed him again, harder. Vaguely, James heard his friends leave the room (well, he heard Sirius gagging and Peter pretending to attend to him). 

One of Lily’s hands set itself on his shoulder while the other cupped his cheek in her warm palm. Her lips moved with fervor, willing him to remember _anything_ about her. 

James let out a little gasp when her lips left his with a soft pop. “Lily Evans, born January 30th, 1960, hates her sister, loves her friends, ambivalent about Quidditch, obsessed with hardback books if they’re Muggle, leatherbound if they’re magic — _ow!_ ”

She’d pinched his arm and tackled him into another hug. 

“What was that for?” he mumbled into her hair. 

She pinched him again, this time in his side. “I ought to set your pants on fire for this, _James Fleamont Potter!_ Don’t you _dare_ prank me like that _ever_ again!” 

He sighed into her embrace and she didn’t let go for a full two minutes. Then she sat beside him on the small hospital bed and snuggled into his shoulder. 

“You’re so clingy, I love it.” James chuckled. 

She pinched his thigh this time. “I _mean_ it,” she snapped, but there was no real bite to it. “Don’t. Do that. Again.”

“Alright, alright, but just out of curiosity, what gave me away?”

“That’s not how regaining your memory works!” Lily laughed this time and didn’t pinch him. “Pomfrey’s not going to be happy with you for making her take a brain scan.”

James winced guiltily, slipping out of bed. “I’ll come clean if you’ll come with me?” 

“Oh-ho, no, you can face the consequences of your actions on your own, Potter.” Lily collected her things (Gryffindor Quidditch banner, Gryffindor scarf, Gryffindor glowsticks — maybe his assessment of ‘ambivalent about Quidditch’ was mistaken after all). “I’ll be waiting for you in the Head’s dorms.”


	61. Say It's Carol Singers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from pianistbynight: “you need to back the fuck off of me before i punch you” + full lyrics for God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs

Lily awoke to an irregular tapping at her window that did not at all sound like an owl wanting to deliver a message. 

She threw off the covers, took her wand off the nightstand, and tiptoed to her curtains. Since she was home for the holidays, she hid her wand behind her back. In one swift motion, she pulled the curtains aside and threw open the window.

Someone threw their leg over her window sill. 

“You need to back the fuck off of me before I punch you.” Lily raised her visible fist menacingly. 

“Relax, Evans, it’s me, your boyfriend, whom you lo—ow!” 

Lily had thwacked him over the head with the back of her wand hand. “You scared me half to death, James! What were you thinking coming here — How did you —” 

“Oi! Prongs! It’s bloody cold out here and I need your help to land this thing!”

Lily’s eyes widened. “Is that —”

“Sirius Black, at your service.” The long-haired boy twirled his effeminate hand. 

The sound of footsteps came from the hallway.

“Lily?” her mother knocked on her door. “Are you alright? I heard a noise coming from outside...”

“Say it’s carol singers,” James quipped.

“You need to hide!” Lily shoved him bodily into her closet and drew the curtains in Sirius’ face. Then she opened the door to her mother. “It’s alright, mum, just couldn’t sleep, so I was exercising —”

“Exercising?” Her mother raised an eyebrow. “Ooh, you do look rather flushed, don’t overdo it now.”

Lily nodded quickly, kissed her mother goodnight, and shut the door. 

“Exercising?” James peeked out from her closet. 

“Shut up,” Lily stuck her tongue out at him and crossed back over to the window. “How’s your gas tank looking, Sirius?”

“Why do you automatically assume I would contribute to the greenhouse effect, Evans? I’m a deviant, not a monster —”

“Alright, alright, just park it somewhere far away from here. Suburban folks don’t take too kindly to motorbikes, flying or otherwise.” 

“Right-o, come on, then Prongs.” Sirius flipped down the visor of his helmet. 

“Er…” One of James’ hands carded through his hair. “Er, I was hoping to have a few words with Lily, actually —”

“ _Ughhhh_ , you said it would be a _quick_ stop _just_ to say hello,” Sirius whined.

“Actually, as I understand it, I’d better come with. You have a sidecar, don’t you?” Lily conjured a helmet for herself and bundled up in a thick wooly jacket. “Don’t want you getting into trouble for violating the Statute of Secrecy in my neighborhood.”

So it happened that James got on the back of the motorbike with Sirius again and Lily climbed (very carefully) into the sidecar. As they roared across the sky (for aesthetic, Sirius really was not using any fuel), Lily turned on the radio to the Wizarding Wireless Network. 

_God rest ye merry hippogriffs_

_Let nothing you dismay_

_For while the reindeer travel far_

_The eve ‘fore Christmas day_

_You, too, hold your very own pow’r_

_You’re fierce and strong and brave_

_Oh, who needs to deliver toys_

_Deliver toys_

_To all the world’s girls and boys?_

Lily choked out a confused laugh. “This… was supposed to be a happy song, I’m sure.”

“Oh, it gets better!” James yelled over the wind, enjoying her amusement.

_In Hogwarts, in Scotland’s moors_

_The children learn to fear_

_Your carnivorous nature_

_Extends to human flesh, they hear_

_But then they learn that if they’re nice_

_You’ll be their friend for life_

_Oh, who needs to deliver toys_

_Deliver toys_

_To all the world’s girls and boys?_

_Fear not then, says your keeper_

_Let nothing you affront_

_For keeping one’s life is a better_

_Reason to be naughty not_

_You aid all those who trust you_

_With your pow’r and might_

_Oh, who needs to deliver toys_

_Deliver toys_

_To all the world’s girls and boys?_

Sirius and James took the motorbike down in a meadow for a bumpy landing. 

“Right, make it quick you lovebirds,” said Sirius, walking away quickly like they were about to do something he didn’t want to witness. “I want us to get back before Euphemia wakes up.” 

James took Lily’s hand and helped her out of the sidecar. 

“Seriously — no pun intended,” she added quickly before her weird-humored boyfriend could comment. “What possessed you to come all the way out here?”

“Didn’t want you to miss me too much.” James grinned. 

Lily shoved him into the snow, immediately felt guilty, because she was starting to feel rather lonely with no one but Petunia for company most days since her parents’ jobs were particularly demanding over the holidays. (Lily really identified with the hippogriffs in the song.) 

So she reached down to help James stand, but he tugged her down on top of him.

“Oof.” The wind was knocked out of her when she looked into his pretty hazel eyes. 

James tucked a tendril of deep red hair behind her ear, tinged pink from the cold. “Happy Christmas, Evans.”

“Happy Christmas, Potter.” She sighed against his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap! Happy New Year, loves!


End file.
